Humour Sports Books

Contaminated Samples

A free sampler containing the outrageous first chapters from Frankie's three books My Shit Life So Far, Work! Consume! Die! and Scotland's Jesus. Perfect for when you want to feel deeply offended.

MY SHIT LIFE SO FAR: 'I don't think anyone can have written an autobiography without at some point thinking "Why would anyone want to know this shit?" I've always read them thinking "I don't want to know where Steve Tyler grew up, just tell me how many groupies he f**ked!"'

So begins Frankie's outrageous, laugh-out loud, cynical rant on life as he knows it.

WORK! CONSUME DIE!: Stand-up comedy's favourite pessimist, Frankie Boyle, offers his laugh-out-loud, cynical rant on life as he knows it. He describes your reality as viewed through a bloodshot eye pressed against a shit-smeared telescope, focused on hell.

SCOTLAND'S JESUS: Reading Scotland's Jesus should be like being called into the living room by your child shouting that they see a little red dot on the head of a TV newscaster, then riding the white hot bullet through the propaganda circuitry of his or her exploding brain.

Obey The Rules: A free extract from The Rules

A FREE colour Ebook featuring extracts from The Rules: The Way of the Cycling Disciple - available for a limited time only.



The Velominati embrace cycling not just as a pastime or a means of travel, but as a way of life - as obsessed with style, heritage, authenticity and wisdom as with performance.

THE RULES is their Bible, and is an essential part of every cyclist's arsenal.

Hot Shots FC

This is the first book in the 'stupidly funny' football series, Hot Shots FC. It is for children aimed 6-12 who like football, or being silly, or laughing out loud again and again!

It follows the fortunes of Hat Trick Boy, who is selected to join local side Hammers FC. But there is a problem: his friends aren't picked. So Hat Trick Boy has to choose between his friends and his football, and he makes a mistake. He deserts his friends and decides to join the rather rough Hammers FC. But he doesn't know his friends are about to set up the greatest junior football club ever, Hot Shots FC...

Screwball

Hayward Templeton, a psychiatry grad student at the University of Iowa, grudgingly agrees to pitch in a co-ed baseball game. A stickler for research, he discovers online how to throw a screwball and excels at it. Hayward's team wins and while celebrating, they accidentally drop him on his head. As he lies on the ground unconscious, a few teammates discuss an upcoming psych quiz. Hayward unknowingly soaks it all in. When he comes to, he begins experiencing bizarre mental disorders -- on his way to the big leagues as a screwball pitcher.

Screwball is as screwball does ...

Newcastle United's Worst Ever Players

Locally produced guide to the worst players to have played for Newcastle United.

Newcastle United's Greatest Ever Games

If you've supported Newcastle United long enough you will have experienced every single emotion that it is possible for a human being to feel. You'll know how it feels to win 8-0 despite being bottom of the league and you'll know the delight of winning a game at Highbury, outplaying the opposition in the process. However, you'll also know the desolation of losing 7-3 with a team of 11 supposed internationals, the pain that is seeing Frank Pingel introduced as a second half substitute because he is better than what's already out there and you'll wince at the names of Graeme Fenton and Ronnie Radford which will tap directly into your nervous system and cause at least one, if not all, of your limbs to spasm. You'll have seen goals to grace the Maracana and mistakes to grace You've Been Framed. You'll have seen players from both ends of the spectrum on the same pitch at the same time and wonder how a player like Alan Shearer could have been in a position where he'd been asked to interact in some way with Albert Luque, Des Hamilton and Silvio Maric for the greater good. So come with me now as we take a look at some of the greatest and not-so-great games in this wonderful clubs glittering history."

The Premier League's Worst Ever Players

Did Francis Jeffers ever keep you awake at night? Did you slap yourself in the face each time you witnessed an Eric Djemba-Djemba attack-splitting pass? Did Titus Bramble cause you to eat your match programme in frustration? Then this is the book you've been waiting for. Relive all your least favourite Premier League moments by taking a journey back through the maze of frustration, disillusionment and failure that is the Premier League's worst ever players. Grimace, wince and sob as you take a trip down the derelict end of memory lane, through a history of the Premier League's most inept, incompetent, overpaid and under-talented exponents of the beautiful game. Players who looked terrified whenever the ball came within twenty yards of them, players who would struggle to make the bench for their son's under-7's team and players who surprised you by managing to make it onto the field wearing the correct strip. If you've ever watched a Premier League player and wondered how they managed to turn professional and you didn't, if you were left speechless as they were allowed to continue spreading their misery well into the second half, if they rang Graeme Souness pretending to be George Weah's cousin or if they left you dumbfounded at the fact they'd managed to convince someone to pay them a wage to represent your hopes and dreams, you'll find them all here.