Humour Parodies Books

Funny Stories for Kids: Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves: (Kid's Books, Books For Kids, Children, Fractured Fairy Tales, Parody Books, Free Teen Books, Fiction Books for Teens, Humorous Books)

What would the story of "Snow White" be like if the princess was an idiot, the evil queen was completely incompetent, and the dwarves, instead of being happy and silly, were instead super gross and mean? The answer: "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves," a comedy short story that is so awesome you'll have to read it to believe it. (Brought to you by the famed Dweezel and Pallie.)

"[A] funny and clever little book... I like this version even better than the original story."

Chytach18, Reviewer for OnlineBookClub.org

"An amazing story, and hilariously funny to boot, perfect for kids and adults alike!"

Angela, Amazon UK reader

"It made me laugh. Grossed me out. Then makes you laugh some more."

Thelma Coots, Amazon reader

"One word : FUNNY! A new way of reading Snow White"

Isienie V., Amazon reader

*****

Take your expectations for a fairy tale and throw them out the window! A noble prince? Lame. A humble princess? What a loser! A happy ending? You wish. This eBook is way better than all that. It will make you giggle, laugh, and ask for more. Either that, or it will make you scream for it all to stop. The only way to know is to read it. Download "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" now!

The Funny Stories for Kids series, written/recorded by Dr. Dexter Dweezel and Professor Parnassus Pallie, is an ongoing effort to make fairy tales less crappy. "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" is the first in this series, with more to come.

**Note: This story is not for babies. It can be crude, and has jokes about butts, poo, and drunk people. It also has a bit of cartoony violence. There is no swearing or sexual activity. If this story had a MPGG rating it would probably be PG, and would be comparable to a modern episode of the Simpsons.**

Hettford Witch Hunt, Series One: Comedy Horror

"With subtle humor and a charming regional voice, James Rhodes cleverly crafts a story of vengeance, mystery and witchcraft. Deftly weaving the ordinary and supernatural Rhodes leads readers along a path strewn with dreary workaday details offset by exciting glimpses of an otherworld that threatens to destroy the safety of the mundane."

-Kirsten Imani Kasai, Author: Ice Song, Tattoo, Del Rey Books

Gary Turlough is falling deeper into his post-graduate slump as each day goes by. He is in a dead-end job with no prospects and, following a slight indiscretion with a local goth, his girlfriend is one more mistake away from heading back to New Zealand. Life in the small village of Hettford would be tough enough without the spirits of two 18th Century witches plotting to kill his only two friends.

Milton and Dan are the real ale drinking hill-walkers of witch hunting: Nobody may believe them, nobody may reward them and they might not ever accomplish very much but nonetheless they remain devoted to their cause. With a slick sitcom format this novel is a must have for fans of paranormal comedy.

SERIES TWO: Available now!

Funny Stories for Kids: Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner: Star Wars Parody, Kid's Books, Books For Kids, Children, Sci-fi, Parody Books, Teen Books, Fiction Books for Teens, Humorous Books)

In a galaxy ravaged by tyranny, planets are destroyed at the push of a button and empires are brought down by farm boys and scoundrels. Dark Zader was one of the most powerful men in the galaxy, but when he threw his emperor down a shaft, he found himself without a job.

Living with his kids and down on his luck, he finds that he only has one solution, beg for his old job back from the very emperor he thought he'd killed.

Read as this family of rebel scum scrambles to prepare a dinner fit for an emperor in the most ridiculous culinary experience ever.

Double the excitement.

Triple the laughs.

Paintbrush illustrations.

This is...

Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner

The Spy Who Bluffed Me! (Best of British)

The name's Palmer...Pagga Palmer...

Neville 'Pagga' Palmer is an over-sexed, run-of-the-mill doorman with delusions of grandeur. Despite being terrified of his local rivals and thicker than a whale omelette he's convinced that he's a highly trained spy who is simply 'sleeping' until needed by the security services. This isn't a scenario that anyone who has ever met him would think likely...until one day an upper-class, blonde-haired spook asks him to sign the official secrets act and tells him that his services are required for Queen and country...

Bad guys beware 'cos Pagga's coming to save the world!

Buster McGavin’s Wonderful World of Golf: A Book of Revelations

I am a ghost writer.

I died of pneumonia in Bedford, Massachusetts at the age of eighty-eight.

As a young man, I was a phenomenal golfer playing at the highest levels of amateur competition. I had a big, modern swing; but I always cut a traditionalist's figure. My self-effacing, uncomplaining manner, my chesty stride, my clothes, even my tripartite name seemed a thing of the pastoral, perhaps English, past. Tweed, of course, was my preferred fabric. I once showed up on a course in all-tweed, including tweed knickers and a tweed cap. It was the middle of July.

I described the game with an avant-garde style that has since been imitated, but never duplicated.

Subjects I covered as a professional columnist included tennis, writers, politicians, and social figures. I was the ghostwriter of several books, mostly about golf.

I was just crazy about golf; I was a great historian of the game and--if I do say so myself-- a terrific writer. I wrote longhand and in pencil. In Heaven we use only Macs. It took me a long time to learn how to type. So now I dictate.

I was acute on the complexities of the game and on the characters of the players. I was, in spirit, prelapsarian--uninterested in the issues of money, endorsements, or scandal of any kind. If I had a hero in golf, and even in life, it was certainly Bobby Jones, who won thirteen major championships as an amateur between 1923 and 1930 and then went on to help design the ne plus ultra of American golf courses: Augusta National, the site of the Masters. Jones was an educated athlete, a lawyer, a writer, and a reader, and we quickly became friends talking about books and the intricacies of golf. I learned a great deal from Bobby. About three days before Bobby's death, when I knew he was dying, I said to the members of his family: 'If this is all there is to it, it sure is peaceful."

Well, Hell's bells! It's far from peaceful in Heaven! Actually, Heaven is much like Earth: greed, corruption, sexual abuse, humiliation, hypocrisy, scams, and plenty of violence. Except you can do just about anything you want here--within the Heavenly guidelines. I decided to write my own book of golf instruction.

During my coverage of the 1958 Masters, I was searching for an appropriate name for that far corner of the course where the critical action takes place -- some colorful tag like those that Grantland Rice and his contemporaries loved to devise: the Four Horsemen, the Manassa Mauler, the House that Ruth Built, the Georgia Peach, and so on. A lover of jazz, I recalled an old tune entitled "Shouting in the Amen Corner."

Now that I am in Heaven, I have been assured by The Great Greenskeeper that my writing, like the greatest game ever played, will live forever.

Open Access Policy

You are free to share, copy, or redistribute the materials in this text in any medium or format. You are free to adapt, reuse, modify, transform, or build upon the materials in this text for any purpose whatsoever.

Thee Woman (Scott F Neve's Prequels, Sequels and Parodies Book 9)

*Romance Mystery Short Story! Inspired by the style of Sir A. Conan Doyle

Thee Woman was none other than the irrepressible Miss Irene Adler. Her first love affair was a summer tryst with a young nobleman. It promised to be an affair to end all affairs. But when duty called, the future king chose to break her heart. So Irene swore to him, "If you try to marry any other woman... I will ruin you."

How can they live happily ever after? Find out!

How To Keep Sparkly Emo Vampires Off Your Lawn

Back in the day, we never had a problem with these pesky sparkly vampires. Oh, we would get an occasional deer in the yard, or a squirrel, or even a raccoon, but never vampires. It was a peaceful, quiet little town in the Pacific Northwest called Spoon. We never caused anyone any trouble and they left us well enough alone.

But those days are gone. Now these emo vampires are everywhere. Not to mention those dang waxing werewolves. It's getting to the point where you can't even have a beer in the backyard without some blood sucking freak moping about.

Fifty Shades of Neigh - A parody

They say money is a great aphrodisiac, but are there really enough billions in the world to mitigate the many flaws of a man who wears DON'T FRIENDZONE ME t-shirts and thinks all you have to do to acquire old-school, film noir charm is to pop on a fedora and call all women toots?

Can enough money exist to take the edge off a man like Crispian Neigh, a doughy internet billionaire of uncertain provenance and even less certain weight? Is he doomed to be Forever Alone, or is there a woman in the world who can see the man behind the billions, and forgive his habit of drawing busty dwarf erotica based on World of Warcraft characters?

Step forward Hanna Squeal - literature student and insurance risk, a self-proclaimed intellectual so alarmingly dim that she thinks Camus is a chickpea-based dip flavoured with garlic.

When Hanna stumbles, glissades and finally faceplants in front of him, Crispian Neigh is enraptured by her beauty, her implausible innocence and her shatteringly low self-esteem.

Cue several hundred pages of poorly-written, repetitive 'kinky' sex. Flogging, whipping, fisting, anal intercourse and things that would give even James Joyce cause to pause - none of these things happen in this book. Due to a sheltered girlhood (I'm not kidding - she's never even leaned up against the washing machine on the spin cycle.) Hanna doesn't even know the difference between an orgasm and a sneeze.

Also he's got that thing that hasn't quite cleared up yet.

But when Crispian makes Hanna an offer she can't refuse (Severed horse heads a very real possibility.) she is determined to forge on with the relationship in spite of the objections of her stoner friend Kate, her polyamorous Etsy addict mother and the rude retorts of her spiteful Inner Goddess.

Can Hanna change him? (No) Can she turn him into the kind of boyfriend she's always wanted? (Nope) And can she get over his deepest, darkest, pinkest secret and bring herself to love and tolerate My Little Brony? (Probably not - not if we want to wring a sequel out of this thing.)

Raise Your Glass: Stuck in the Twilight Saga SPECIAL EDITION!

Often wonder what it is like from a guy's perceptive, being stuck in a line between two Twilight fans? This writer does! 'Raise Your Glass' is a harmless jab at the Twilight saga buzz.

It might offend some 'Twi-Hards' out there.

****

Reviews:

"This is really funny. My sister and my friend are on Team Edward and me and my friend's sister are on Team Jacob. We've had countless arguments like this when we're walking home from school. You captured the heated moments between Team Jacob fans and Team Edward fans. Awesome job."

"I've raised my beer to Ron, the next one will be raise in his honor as well. I watched the first Twilight movie and mourn that time lost. I also know what it's like to be forced to do something you don't want to by someone you love."

****

Reviews:

"I AM one of those crazy Twilight fans, and I appreciated this slice of TwiLife from the put-upon husband's point of view. "Next time you go to the bar, drink to Sir Ron: the man of all men." Cheers to you, Sir Ron. Lit-crazed book girls like me do indeed drag our boyfriends/girlfriends to things like this, so it made me smile."

"Wow... What a man! That woman has a good husband."

"This was hilarious."

The Fault In Our Arse: A The Fault In Our Stars Parody

Connor Stodge is a normal 19 year old American, with abnormal bowel problems and a best friend called Quentin who is a bag full of spare pants and laxatives, who just sort of looks like a Quentin.

Connor's existence is a painful and disgusting one until he meets similarly-afflicted heartthrob September Loose, and his world is flushed with change. Pun intended.

Together the pair travel to the only restaurant in Paris, bother a recluse they have no business contacting, and learn the truth about love, life, spicy food, cucumbers and portion control.

The Fault In Our Arse is a tongue-in-cheek parody of the #1 New York times Bestseller, The Fault In Our Stars.

Minecraft Monday: A Day in the Life of an Enderman: Live Action Minecraft Parody Storybook for Kids

What if the Endermen from Minecraft were REAL? What would their lives be like? Adventurous? Cheesy? Silly?

Follow one random Enderman to find out what his morning is like--by reading Minecraft Monday, a short storybook featuring epic pics of a living character from Minecraft! You might discover that they are not so different from us, after all!

(Or you might discover they are really very weird...)

MINECRAFT MONDAY has about 1,000 words and over 25 live action photos of an Enderman in action. It is fun and easy to read for early readers.

Note, this is a work of fan fiction; it is a unofficial parody and not associated in any way to Minecraft or Mojang. This is a picture storybook; it is not a full novel.



Thanks for reading!

The secret diary of Barry Surreal

Despite being fictional, Barry Surreal's life has been a series of random non-linear events that may or may not be connected. This diary was found in a metal mop bucket with wheels on outside the School Janitor's cupboard over eight years ago and now for the first time ever, I (Kevin Spangles) can reveal the secrets behind Barry's St. Evander's School Orchestra musician of the year award preparations, the day he managed to get the top off a highlighter pen in a partially-haunted cupboard and the adventure(s) he had in the tunnel under the all-weather pitch (apart from the last two).

All the facts in this book are not facts and any resemblance the characters bear to people alive or living is purely intercontinental. Barry attended St. Evander's between the twentieth and thirtieth centuries and excelled in many subjects including but not limited to dinner time and playtime. His favourite food was Orange (the colour, not the fruit) and his favourite pastime was indolence.

"Hilarious" - The Daily Cardigan

"I laughed for minutes (not at this book)" - St. Evander's School Librarian

"More thrills than a broken roller coaster, more spills than a nervous man carrying a cup full of coffee" - The Thirtean Times

"Funnier than a trip to the dentist" - A Dentist

Follow Barry's hilarious* adventures on twitter @barry_surreal

*depends on your definitinon of hilarious

Mr. Bond and the Last Laugh (Scott F Neve's Prequels, Sequels and Parodies Book 6)

Mr. Bond was the type of British gentleman who enjoyed the best. Yet now he was not wearing a playboy's smoking jacket. He was trapped in an ornate silk straight jacket. There was no Swedish masseuse or nubile protege to rescue him from his boredom. This was all too real. The dapper hero of the world was imprisoned in a mental hospital being interviewed by his Oriental physician. "Tell me all about your love life," the doctor demanded with dry humor. The handsome spy's face twisted into a wry grin as he laughed and then he asked, "Where should I begin?"

What Men Do to Women: A Book of Revelations

I am a ghost writer.

In life, I was a "radical lesbian feminist."

I was one of the leading voices of the feminist and Women's Rights movement of the Twentieth Century. The work that I started is still being carried out today by the millions of feminists I inspired over the years.

I broke new ground by exploring the idea of women finding personal fulfillment outside of their traditional roles. I helped advance the Women's Rights movement. As an icon in the Women's Rights movement, I did more than write about confining gender stereotypes--I became a force for change. I fought for abortion rights. I wanted women to have a greater role in the political process.

In 1999, I left Tammany College after a male student dressed as a woman threatened suit when I denied "her" a place in my class on Feminist Ethics. I had long limited enrollment in my Advanced Women's Studies classes to birthed women only maintaining that the presence of men there would inhibit frank discussion.

You know how I feel about men who attempt to become women without having the experience of growing up and suffering as women all their lives.

You know my credentials: Before obtaining my two doctorates in Sacred Theology and Existential Phenomenology from Olinger University, I received my B.A. with honors in English from Our Lady of the Flowers Seminary, my M.A. in Philosophy from The Papal College of Saints in Rome, and my D.Litt. in Renaissance Literature [in the first column] from Hudson University.

I taught classes at Olinger University from 1977 to 2009 including classes in feminist theology, feminist ethics, and deplorable patriarchy.

In Meditations on Radical Feminism (1988), I showed how men throughout history have used, oppressed, brutalized, vandalized, humiliated, tortured, raped, beaten, castrated, murdered, stoned, mutilated, and beheaded women. I moved beyond my previous thoughts on the history of patriarchy to focus on the actual practices that, in my view, perpetuate patriarchy--which I consider a horrific, disorganized religion.

My Pure Heat: Elemental Sexual Philosophy (1999) introduced and explored an alternative language to explain the processes of exorcism, witchcraft, and ecstasy. I provided definitions as well as chants to be used by women to free themselves from patriarchal oppression. I also explored the labels that patriarchal society places on women to prolong what I see as the male domination of society. You may remember I said that it is the role of women to reject the debilitating labels such as "hag," "witch," "bitch," "bag lady," "whore," "fat," "dumb," and "lunatic." And I described in great detail my conversations with aZazelo, the Moon Goddess.

I define patriarchy as "a society manufactured and controlled by males"--The Fatherland. A society in which every legitimate institution is entirely in the hands of males and a few selected henchwomen. A society that is characterized by oppression, repression, depression, narcissism, cruelty, racism, classism, ageism, speciesism, objectification, sadomasochism, necrophilia, and the rest--a joyless society ruled by the Godfather, the Son, and the Roly Poly Ghost; a society fixated on proliferation, purgation, and perversion--bent on the destruction of all life.

We live in a profoundly anti-female society, a misogynistic "civilization" in which men collectively victimize women, attacking us as personifications of their own paranoid fears, as The Enemy. Within this society it is men who rape, who sap women's energy, who deny women economic and political power.

I hate them.

Open Access Policy

You are free to share, copy, or redistribute the materials in this text in any medium or format. You are free to adapt, reuse, modify, transform, or build upon the materials in this text for any purpose whatsoever.

Mr. Bond and the Rapturous Reward (Scott F Neve's Prequels, Sequels and Parodies Book 8)

Short Story Satire!

A mysterious Dragon Queen had placed a contract on the hide of Mr. Bond. She demanded that he be delivered to her alive. The only stipulation was that the bounty would only be paid to a female.

Suddenly every girl that the infamous spy had ever bedded came out of their closets of solitude. Each nation had lethal vixens with a bone to pick with Dear James. And each Bond girl was overly eager to collect the fortune and fame of bagging the prodigious lover. The bodacious bounty hunters hunted him down like the dog that he was.

Bond grew weary of being the prey of a Women Only safari that covered every continent. All run and no play was making James a dull witted boy. Besides, fleeing from gorgeous women was unnatural for him. Finally he allowed himself to be captured.

Who Is the Community Zionist?: A Book of Revelations

I am a ghost writer.

I died on July 25, 2016, in a hospital in San Diego, California after suffering from a stroke, age 90.

On the eve of my death, ministry partners, fans, and friends urgently asked for prayers on social media, offering a wave of early tributes that spread through end-times prophecy circles and chapters of Concerned Feminists for America (CFA), the 800,000-member public policy organization founded by my wife. Some circulated a statement by my son: "He will not recover from this, he will soon be graduated to Heaven."

And I did graduate to Heaven. But Heaven is not what I expected it to be.

We have gambling casinos here. You always win. We have rigged elections. You always win. There's a Megachurch anybody can join. Donations flow in. For people who like golf, there is a championship golf course designed by Robert Trent Jones. There is never any wait. Gourmet specialties are cooked to your order and served at any time of the day or night. And you never gain weight--no matter how much sugar-sweetened soft drinks, pasta, or fatty deep fried foods you eat. But if you just want to chill out and loaf and listen to music, why, that's all right, too.

In life, I believed with all my heart that the return of Jesus was imminent.

I was a harsh critic of the Community, which I considered a false religion. The Community is more dangerous than no religion because the Community substitutes religion for truth. In the history of the Community, the Boss has been the archpriest of Satan, a deceiver, and an antichrist, who has, like Judas, gone to his own very special reward.

Before I died, I prophesied mass slaughters and the end of the world. In the recent vicious hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, and fires, in the widespread violence of state-supported terrorism and terrorism by lone wolfs and nut cases, I find my prophesy coming true. It is The Apocalypse Now! From where I sit here in Heaven, I can tell you that God is behind all of the insanity in your mad, mad, mad, mad world--and She's mad as hell!

Sinners, it is not too late to repent and mend your ways!

The arms sales, the wars, the virulent language, the sexual abuse, the human trafficking, the hypocrisy, the vicious Patriarchy, and the rest MUST END NOW!

You are living in the time of the Community Zionist.

In life, I was a prolific author. I wrote 1,084 books (first in the Guinness Book of Records), both fiction and non-fiction. Of course, I really didn't write them. A KNOW ANGEL, working directly for God, infused with God's Holy Spirit, used me to create God's Books of Revelations.

Who Is the Community Zionist? consists of random thoughts from a non-random source. As you read Who Is the Community Zionist?, connect the jots.

Open Access Policy

You are free to share, copy, or redistribute the materials in this text in any medium or format. You are free to adapt, reuse, modify, transform, or build upon the materials in this text for any purpose whatsoever.

Winning Is For Winners: the ultimate self-help book for winners (Flushtome 3)

This is a book written by winners, for fellow winners.

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Old Friends, Epistolary Parody

This book (hardcover) is part of the TREDITION CLASSICS. It contains classical literature works from over two thousand years. Most of these titles have been out of print and off the bookstore shelves for decades. The book series is intended to preserve the cultural legacy and to promote the timeless works of classical literature. Readers of a TREDITION CLASSICS book support the mission to save many of the amazing works of world literature from oblivion. With this series, tredition intends to make thousands of international literature classics available in printed format again - worldwide.

Little Big Guy: A Novella

The movie "Little Big Man," impressed me a lot. I love it. But it got me to thinking of all the wonderful roles Dustin Hoffman brought to life on the big screen, and as I was going through all of those roles, from Ben Braddock in "The Graduate," to Ratso Rizzo in "Midnight Cowboy" and Louis Dega in "Papillon," and Michael Dorsey in "Tootsie," that I could combine all of those roles into one film. So an already silly story became even sillier. I even worked in a portion of "Rain Man." I hope you will get as much pleasure reading it as I had in writing it.