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101 Dirty Jokes - sexual and adult's jokes

Sex and humor. 101 hilarious and dirty jokes for adults.

Love Finds You: The Helena's Grove Series Book 1

Note: This book was previously published under "Love Is Thicker Than Blood" by Ivy Alexander. New content has been added including an extended ending, with twists and turns you'll be sure to love!

Sweet romance with a twist!

Jennifer Berkley is a straightforward, ambitious, soon-to-be lawyer in the fast, driven city of New York. She doesn't have the patience or time to deal with people who can't or won't give her what she wants. When her father asks her to visit her aunt in Ohio as her last dying wish, Jen is immediately resistant, but reconsiders when her father makes her an offer she can't refuse.

Jen finds Ohio a much different pace than New York, and is beginning to enjoy country life when she meets Zack LaFaye, a good-looking, helpful man who is adored by her aunt. Each encounter with him leaves Jen flustered and annoyed. The question is glaring: does she have feelings for him, or does she hate him so much that she can't decide?

Amidst a country backdrop, Jen discovers feelings and experiences no city girl is prepared for. As the summer unfolds, she finds herself questioning everything. Using her skill and training as a lawyer, Jen uncovers a trail of deceit she didn't see coming. With a vengeance, she is determined to find out the truth. Someone is lying to her, but who?

Love Finds You is a clean romance novel full of charming intrigue, with twists, turns, love, romance and drama that will leave you breathless as Jen must decipher her feelings, and the truth.



Helena's Grove Series ebook Categories

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Sooner or Later...You Will Get Caught

**SHORT STORY**TRUE STORY

Kids often do things they know they shouldn't do. And they all think they won't get caught. But this true story proves the adage - "It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but sooner or later....you WILL get caught"

This fun read begins with a young girl, and her budding career in parental note forgery. Thirty years later, it comes back to haunt her in the most amusing way -proving once and for all that what goes around, comes around! Perfect short read for those "waiting for the kids to get out of school/practice/dance/etc." moments.

Includes a bonus excerpt from Stranger Danger - How to Talk to Kids About Strangers.

Lily Loves to Love: ROM-COM FUN FICTION

Have you ever read a book and thought I do not want the main character to end up with the predictable hero? I wish she had gotten with the other man instead. Well here is your chance to change that scenario and choose whom you would like Lily to love. In this book, many comical things tend to happen to and around Lily Lockhart. As she deals with her job, her love life and her family, not to mention her friends so like a lot of us, she is simply an ordinary woman trying to survive this modern world and not always getting it right before mistakes come back to bite her on the bum. As the quirky but loveable girl just cannot help herself sometimes. This is all before trying her hand at a spot of charity work, when she decides that life is far too short to spend it selfishly.

At the start of the year, she ends her engagement and before long, there is plenty of male interest heading her way. We are talking 'The Handsome One' (Sean) and 'The Funny One' (Tom). In addition, there is also 'The Rich One' (Peter) but Lily cannot choose between them. Therefore, in the closing chapters, it is down to you 'the reader' to decide who wins Lily's heart since there is a fun multiple-choice style ending to the story. Will you pick the boyfriend, the best friend or the boss? Only one problem, she is pregnant so 'who's the daddy'.

Love and Chaos: (Standalone Bad Boy Romance) (Growing Pains Book 4)

From USA Today Bestselling author, Willow Summers, is a hilarious and steamy romance.

It was supposed to be easy. Just a quick trip to the wine country to help her good friend, Peter.

She never expected to meet his bad boy brother...

Muscled, tattooed, and riding a Harley, Jace has Cassie's heart racing and blood boiling. Struggling to keep her desire on a tight leash, she must do everything she can to keep Peter's secret. But resisting that dimpled smile is harder than she could've ever imagined...

A standalone book based on the bestselling Growing Pains series. HEA. No cliffhanger!

So you want to become a Sub

So you want to become a sub is a quick crash-course for a potential sub interested in entering the BDSM lifestyle. It is written with the female perspective in mind, searching for a male Dom. In this short, seven chapter book you will discover some very true and helpful information, but remember, it is meant to be a light and fun read.

Mouth Open Story Fell Out: Cynical Rants Of A Singleton

Running on nothing but a busted heart, a potty mouth and the blinking cursor on a screen, Shem uses her latest breakup and a laptop as free therapy.

After unexpectedly being inducted into the hall of singledom by her closeted girlfriend (the girl she probably should never have fallen for) and urged by a friend to stop crying and start writing, Shem takes to penning the do's and don'ts of trying to move on from an ex but still failing miserably. This short non-fiction narrative presents a collection of rambling romantic faux pas backed up with zero scientific research, just outlandish statements!

"Recently I read a quote by American musician Frank Ocean, which said: 'If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Seriously, punch them in the face, and go get ice cream.' I instantly fell in love with this, as it captured exactly how I felt after the self-pity and dramatic wailing had subsided."

Packed with hilariously tragic pearls of wisdom and self-inflicted drama, this short compilation of writing is an insight into the life of a single girl and the brain burps of all things love related. Mouth Open Story Fell Out: Cynical Rants of a Singleton simply offers a little heads up when trying to navigate the minefield that is the single life.

They Win. You Lose.: Sex, Violence & Songs from the Shows (The Implosion Saga (Book 1))

They Win. You Lose. By Stan Arnold

Sex, Violence and Songs from the Shows.

They Win. You Lose. is the first book of The Implosion Saga. It's a very funny thriller. Mick and Jim are two incompetent, Soho-based, corporate video producers. They drink too much and don't earn enough.

So when the Mafia come calling, demanding back rent of ?6,000, they have ten minutes to do a runner. All they have is an old Morris Traveller (a Woodie, if you're in the US) and a tank full of petrol.

Their sudden flight takes them to the sex trade in Southsea, out-of-body experiences, horrendous amateur dramatics, Death Metal pubs, foul-mouthed, 80-year-old punk grannies and hit men dressed in pink Mexican outfits.

Under constant threat from enforcers, they get offered a mystery job in Las Vegas. When they arrive, six Reservoir Dogs' lookalikes are waiting for them. They make their escape using the world's most mercenary taxi driver.

During the next 24 hours, they chicken out a freight train, walk six moonlit miles across the desert with cactus-punctured groins, find out what badly manufactured LSD can do to you, avoid Thelma and Louise suicide-a-likes, have sex with Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper, make a commitment in front of a Bourbon-fuelled Elvis at Big Derek's Gay Marriage Emporium and blow up a Harley Davidson. The final showdown takes place with the mafia boss in the world's most unspeakably lurid theatrical environment. A very neat twist propels them from sudden death into a totally different way of life.

Or does it?

Risking it All: The Rosewoods - A Short Story

Things are not going well for Brady Fleming, Rosewood equestrian coach and Olympic hopeful. Thanks to a careless fall off his horse, he is now on crutches - out of training and a job. Not to mention he's had to promise Brooklyn he'll back off so they could be just friends, which is the last thing he wants. The worst part is he knows she's into him too; she's as much as admitted it. And that kiss... There is no denying their chemistry after that kiss at the costume dance. But he can't date a student and he balked when she asked him if he was willing to risk it all to be with her. Now that his job and training are on hold, his outlook has changed and he's beginning to realize what really matters and what he wants from his life.

Maybe that girl who showed up on campus and turned his heart inside out is worth risking everything for after all.

Read Risking it All, a short story from Brady's perspective, in preparation for Making Ripples, The Rosewoods book 6.

Big Business: And How I Learned To Love The Financial Crisis

Philip Dunbar is a slacker. A newly minted college graduate, Philip is unsure of what to do with his life. With pressure from his father and U.S. Senator, Philip enters a chaotic job market, spending months looking for work until he finally lands a job at a local branch for a major bank. Dealing with psychotic customers and impossible sales goals, Philip is eventually fired due to his poor sales performance. But after accidentally uncovering a Ponzi scheme, Philp is rehired and is thrust into the world of corporate finance, getting promoted to work in New York City.

It is there Philip meets the bank's egocentric and charismatic CEO Walter Kalman, who is stopping at nothing to take his bank into a new era of high finance, even if it means setting the world of Wall Street on fire. Getting accustomed to the glitz and glamour of working on Wall Street, Philip feels like he has finally done something with his life. But after the financial crisis unfolds, he realizes not everything is what it seems, and is caught in the middle of Walter Kalman's ambitions and the complexity of dating two women, a naive coffee shop owner and a power hungry investment banker who will do what it takes to move up the corporate ladder.

Being investigated by the FBI and extorted by Walter Kalman, Philip has no choice but to take matters into his own hands and expose Kalman's corruption under the most unusual of circumstances.

Summer Lovin' (Seasons of Love Book 1)

Everyone should have at least one wild fling on their resume.

Mia volunteers to dogsit for two weeks, giving her a chance to figure out the next step in her life, and career. She discovers it's not easy chasing after a puppy with a shoe fetish, but there's a reward for all her troubles: the hunky guy next door.

Luke is a workaholic chef forced to take two weeks' vacation, and at first he's sure the downtime might kill him. But then he gets to know his temporary neighbor. She's sexy and fun, and all of a sudden, two weeks isn't nearly enough time.

Love Hurts

"Let me tell you something about love. They say love hurts, well my love killed a whole town. Only a small town mind, but a whole town all the same. Love doesn't just hurt, it maims, cripples and kills. I know, I've seen it in action.

This introduction put Russell on the runner-up list for The Independent newspaper's 'Opening Gambits' competition.

Here is the full book, enjoy.

SEX, BOTOX AND BLING (ONE Book 1)

Most of us have gone through periods of excitement and trauma in our lives which other people are unaware of. Perhaps they would be shocked if they knew, perhaps not?

This is the story of a group of lady friends of a certain age from a certain county in England who are fighting to hold back the ravages of time, by whatever means they can and for however long they can, each of them still wanting to be loved and needed and, to a certain extent, to show that they still have something to offer. From the outside they appear to have everything - money, family, lovely homes, endless holidays, plenty of free leisure time. But what has it taken for each of them to get there? How many times have they had to compromise along the way? Each of these ladies has at least one secret to share; each of these ladies has a past.

The friends meet up for a birthday lunch and it is in the restaurant that their stories begin to unfold. It is in the restaurant that we discover who they really are and whether we can identify with them or not. Do they inspire compassion, do we like them or are they simply shallow figures of fun? Their stories begin to unfold but there is much more to come .......

Don't Tell Ma: I Knocked Up a Guy

This is the incredible but true story of a man who meets a beautiful woman, or thinks he's met a woman.

He becomes involved in a wild on/off relationship that culminates in two shocking occurrences.



As one reviewer put it, "this is what you'd get if Springsteen wrote a Seinfeld episode - dark, compelling, scandalous, but hilarious".

Homeownership Disease: The Saga of Owen Cash

Welcome to the world of Owen Cash, a man pushed finally to conform with society and pursue his own slice of the Great American Dream: Homeownership. He journeys forth to battle the trials of financial planning (negative amortization--what the hell is that?), house hunting (kids, go slice that family's tires), and mortgage applications (you need an ultrasound of my kidneys?!), all to please family and society and join the ranks of responsible, landed Americans--just at the height of the real estate boom (ka-pow!).

The Law of Attraction: Volume 1 (Lawyers In Love)

A funny, hot, and sexy new release from N.M. Silber Once upon a time two lawyers fell in love across a courtroom ... Gabrielle Ginsberg was a public defender with plenty of nerve and Braden Pierce was an assistant district attorney with a whole lot of swagger. Gabrielle wanted Braden and Braden wanted Gabrielle. And Cameron wanted Gabrielle. And Marla wanted Braden. And Cole wanted Gabrielle. And Mrs. Mason wanted Braden. And an anonymous letter writer wanted to keep Gabrielle and Braden apart. Together Gabrielle and Braden discovered many important things, like which doors at the courthouse actually locked, and that desks could be useful for more than writing. They also found out that the path of love was not always smooth, and it was sometimes trod upon by some really wacky people, like a confused fanny grabber, an eighty-two year old pothead and a gentleman who threw a wine and cheese party in his pants. Could true love overcome a lack of privacy, interference by jealous rivals and the insanity of the criminal court system? NOTICE: This book contains explicit descriptions of sexual situations and mature language. It is intended for readers over the age of eighteen.

Confessions of a Queen B*: Volume 1 (The Queen B*)

Alexis Wyndham is the other type of Queen B-the Queen B*tch. After years of being the subject of ridicule, she revels in her ability to make the in-crowd cower via the exposes on her blog, The Eastline Spy. Now that she's carved out her place in the high school hierarchy, she uses her position to help the unpopular kids walking the hallways. Saving a freshman from bullies? Check. Swapping insults with the head cheerleader? Check. Falling for the star quarterback? So not a part of her plan. But when Brett offers to help her solve the mystery of who's posting X-rated videos from the girls' locker room, she'll have to swallow her pride and learn to see past the high school stereotypes she's never questioned-until now."

Senseless Attraction

Love Love

Gabrielle Willis is smart. She's funny. And oh yes, she's a bit klutzy. When Gabrielle left sunny California bound for the energy of Manhattan, she was willingly leaving the life she had known for the new life she would create. But was she really leaving something behind or was she running away? On the outside, Gabrielle Willis has it all under control. A new life in Manhattan, a great roommate, and a good job. But she is haunted. Haunted by a memory she's tried to forget and by a family who's abandoned her. But what happens when what's on the outside is only an illusion and in perfect contradiction to what's buried deep within? Enter Dane Rhodes. He's gorgeous, smart, and sexy as hell. Just what Gabby wants, or so she thinks. But when she meets Brad Dixon, the sweet guy with the crooked smile, he begins to make her see that the very thing she is trying to run from is the very thing that just may push her to see the light. **This book contains mature language and sexual content and is only recommended for readers 17 and older.**

Bud's Love Bus