Humour Lawyers & Criminals Books

Black Rose: A Midsummer Night's Chutzpah (Larkin's Barkin Book 1)

Existence is about survival.A continually bullied runt of a youngster, Chas Larkin discovers his chutzpah and decides to take on the London gangs.In the sleazy and violent East End of 1966 London, he is unwittingly assisted by Scotland Yard and MI5, who use the boy to delay an IRA campaign in the city. Together with the mysterious DCI Casey, an enigma amongst the bomb-damaged slums, they stir the pot of fermenting disquiet.But can Chas achieve his midsummer night's dream of total revenge?Black Rose is a story of matriarchal might, of superstition, of a lucky charm tainted with malevolent juju, and of a young man's smoldering anger and thirst for retribution.

Fat Boy

Way out west, in the tumbling greens of England, something’s going down. Two boys attempt an escape from the clutches of their poisonous parents… A good policeman fights to sidestep the corruption that blows like hellfire down his neck… A calamitous filmmaker and her witless lead actor scramble desperately to overcome their mucky pasts and make a Hollywood hit… A trio of nude-nutted nasties thrash their way through the picturesque countryside, collecting debts but finding more than they expected… Then there’s Captain Grubbe: the eminent, manipulative and falsely titled antichrist. He hosts a spectacular annual Christmas party, and this year’s is set to be even more extraordinary than usual.Fat Boy is a treacherously fictitious rhapsody, taking a tongue-in-cheek look at the best and the worst of humanity and treating it with the disrespect it deserves - love and hate, corruption and extortion, car chases, gunfights and high jinks, all set against the green and pleasant landscapes of the English countryside. It is ludicrous. It is raucous. It is a modern classic."Fat Boy really was something else; refreshing, different and quintessentially British. I will certainly be following this author with some interest in the future." - Grant Leishman, Readers’ Favorite"The best thing about this book is the descriptions the author employs to create character and scene. It is so scrumptious that I found myself lost in its delicacy and sad when it had gone." - Nicole Howard, Writer's Digest

Super Happy Fun Facts

You'll never laugh this hard while learning about the history of potatoes, the Bubonic Plague, milk, pirates, lettuce, as well as the disgusting mating rituals of animals.Written with uniquely dark humor that guarantees to keep you entertained, Super Happy Fun Facts is a tongue-in-cheek, and utterly entertaining guide to all the facts you didn’t know you needed to know about history, life, and the world in general.Did you know….Christmas used to be illegal in Boston.Al Capone is responsible for expiration dates on milk.Restaurants introduced children’s menus because of prohibition.Marijuana prohibition has more to do with racism than public health.The colonization of Hawaii was a bloody hell-fest of slavery and exploitation.Learn the crazy history behind Thanksgiving, Christmas, Halloween, and Valentine's Day.The Nazis wanted to make rubber from dandelions.From hysterical backstories of gods behaving badly with lettuce to the lady who badgered Abraham Lincoln into turning Thanksgiving into a national holiday, Eric Haan takes you on a highly irreverent and educational journey through everything from milk, the Marquis De Sade, flatworms, pirates, the Bubonic Plague, and Charles Dickens.The best way to describe "Super Happy Fun Facts" is Paul Harvey's "The Rest of the Story" if it was done by someone like Andrew Dice Clay.

Murder At The Grotto: A Bella Tyson short story (The Bella Tyson Mysteries)

All crime writer Bella Tyson wants to do is finish her Christmas shopping in peace at the exclusive London department store, Harridges. But when she sneaks into the store's world famous Santa's Grotto, she discovers something nasty under the Christmas tree...

Palm Beach Blues (Logan Treverrow Book 1)

If stealing a half million dollars from the Mafia is a bad idea, then using the money to pay off a homicidal Russian loan shark is an insane idea. Elliot Becker realizes this a little too late as his well-intentioned South Florida real estate scam starts to fall to pieces. He needs a Plan B—and he needs it now—because when Ponzi schemes fail, they tend to fail fast. Complicating matters is Logan Treverrow, an aspiring sculptor and newly-returned veteran from Afghanistan trying to figure out who took out a $200,000 loan in his soon-to-be-ex-wife’s name—and why all signs are pointing to Elliot Becker. Add an ex-Spetsnaz assassin with dreams of owning a boutique hotel in Palm Beach, a Mob fixer in a midlife crisis, and a budding arsonist with a skin condition, and you’ve got just a few of the characters in Palm Beach Blues, a black comedy in the spirit of Carl Hiaasen and Tim Dorsey.

Seriously Stupid Criminals

Can you drive a Hummer to pick up your welfare check, or text your parole officer asking for illegal drugs? Unfortunately, these criminals did. While researching her other true crime books, Synova was indicated with seriously stupid criminal stories. She collected these humorous stories and shared them with her readers. Enjoy true crime at it's most hilarious level.

Roger Rip

Book 1/4

Prize Tw*t: Who goes to Colombia to give up cocaine?

On the 28th September 2016 the author, Jonathan Sharp was celebrating his 39th birthday. Sitting pretty with a successful business complete with all the trappings of a half decent lifestyle. Fast forward one year to his 40th birthday and he finds himself living penniless on the streets of Bogota, Colombia. How? Why? Cocaine of course. Prize Tw*t is a dark comedy/memoir about one man’s struggle through life with the four big addictions - sex, drugs, booze and gambling. The book is a very honest and open account of one’s life except for one important factor, there is no struggle in life. He’s a lucky bastard who has pretty much loved and embraced every single second of his chaotic life. From the first high of the the first joint at the age of eleven and through a lifetime of depraved adventure, he has done it all. Right up to the point of losing the plot entirely, defrauding and stealing from his own company whilst high on crack cocaine and fleeing to South America just to buy yet more drugs. The book is a journey that covers many topics including graphic details of drug addiction, excessive drinking, prostitution, theft, euthanasia, mental illness, domestic violence, sexual abuse, marriage breakdown, fatherhood, gambling and all the fun and games that go along with such a crazy lifestyle. A true rags to riches story where one man can work his way out of the poverty stricken South Wales Valleys to find himself jet setting around the world getting paid to have a truly great time. Ultimately, his search for utopia and incessant hunt for booze, cocaine and women will always get the better of him. Whether that is getting fired from work, being ripped off by prostitutes, arrested by the cops or worse. This is a tale about a man who has been through it all. The book is a collection of stories brought together from nearly thirty years of excess, hooking readers in on a journey around the globe. Busting with content, most will be able to relate to many of the tales and say, “How embarrassing, I’ve done that”. Others will want the author imprisoned for an eternity, or even longer. Either way, the book is happy, the book is sad but it hopes to assist and warn others that maybe it just might be the right time to slow down and take account of their actions before it’s too late. Prize Tw*t goes to show that you can only ride your luck for so long. One can make a series of poor decisions and prove you can lose everything that is important to you in the blink of an eye - your children, your freedom and your life as you know it.

Nightshade: The Inception

A teen pushed to the edge. A town on the brink. Both about to change forever. A life-changing event leads Chris Hauser to adopt a vigilante persona and sets him on a collision course with anarchy.

Touring Party: Sex, lies and slow-motion replays

Journalist Ed McCormack has landed the gig of a lifetime - to cover the Australian cricket tour of the Caribbean for online tabloid news site, for a gonzo sometimes reckless approach to his craft, McCormack sets about penetrating the ranks of the Australian cricket team’s blokey fold in a series of escapades in the Caribbean's exotic nighttime playground. But a meeting with a mysterious Indian cricket fan awakens the journalist's news instincts, as it begins to dawn on McCormack that there may be more riding on the result of the series than both the players and those connected to them have been letting on. Droll and irreverent with a propulsive, hard-boiled narrative, Touring Party is a rollicking ride down cricket’s darkest corridors. It delves headfirst into the unseemly nocturnal activities and lurid temptations on offer to our elite sportsmen, applying a comic blowtorch to the notion that ‘what goes on tour stays on tour’.

Cuckoo Spit

A black comedy, fiction novel, CUCKOO SPIT, is reminiscent of writers, such as Roddy Doyle (‘The Van’) and Wendy Holden (‘The Full Monty’). Abandoned by Irish property developers, in a ghost estate, that was built on a drained lake, between county Longford and county Cavan, the few remaining residents of Lake View Downs, are unwillingly thrown together, to overcome their circumstances. Desperation compels them, to become self-ascribed 'suburban outlaws' and their foray into the marijuana growing business, seems their best escape plan.

The Devil's Quartet (Volume One of The Devil's Quartet Series)

CAUTION!THE CONTENT CONTAINED HEREIN FAILS TO COMPORT WITH STANDARDS OF POLITICAL CORRECTNESS.READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.Dark, diabolical, irreverent, and wickedly funny, The Devil’s Quartet Volume I dares readers to ride along with Detectives Starnes and Rodriguez, veterans of the Los Angeles Police Department Organized Crime and Vice Division, as they practice a mercenary brand of policing fraught with violence, corruption, and richly deserved retribution. When they stumble upon a fledgling Japanese mafia clan attempting to establish a foothold in the "City of Angels," a deadly underground sword fighting ring is revealed and quickly becomes the catalyst for an apocalyptic con job involving kidnapping, duplicity, and a delightful dose of cannibalism. In teaming with Jake and Tancredo, two young impresarios oddly kindred in character and disposition, the “Devil’s Quartet” is born, and the bullets fly in a denouement worthy of the appellation, “the ne plus ultra of comedic carnage.”

The Killing Rileys: First Love, First Kills

Four teenagers get over the death of a loved one by killing many bad ones.

Stop Stealing Shopping Carts!: Verdict Sticker Shock

*Crime Suspense fictional Short Story!(This short story is dedicated to my dear friends who remember Meijer Thrifty Acres!)The coed began to sweat as she nodded and said, "All I did was take one stinking shopping basket. Everyone does it. There must be fifty of the silly things in the dorms at State College. It was kind of a prank. I don’t see what all the bother is about."The top lawyer for the conglomerate motioned for silence. Then a large computer screen began to show snippets of evidence. The raw footage came from security cameras within the renovated grocery store. There were still photos from various ATM machines on the route from the store to the college dorm. The college campus security cameras also caught the petty thief red-handed as she brazenly walked home with her little red basket loaded with goodies.The lady judge spoke softly to the girl squirming on the witness stand, "I can assure you that all of this evidence has been corroborated by the officials. Your identity was substantiated by your classmates, teachers and family.As for your sentence, that is a very easy decision. The law requires that you pay the allotted fine and the value of the basket to the owners. Plus you will fulfill a modest judicial disciplinary action imposed by the court."The girl coed gulped and asked, "What are you talking about?"The lady judge smiled bigger as she said, "The reason that the plaintiffs brought this suit against you and your kind is fairly cut and dried. They wish to make an example of you so that no one in the future will steal from them. Grocery stores are in the business of feeding people and your actions are a severe deterrent. Thefts of any type drive up prices and rob the good workers of their just rewards for their diligent work habits. In short, petty thievery is hurting the American economy like cancer."The coed went pale as she asked, "What is my sentence?"

HILARIOUS JOKES FROM OTHER DIMENSION: Don't spend hours looking for FUN Spend some dollars and L-O-L (VOLUME Book 1)

Good to see you here, and be sure that you are now one click away from purchasing good quality FUN and HUMOR!I know that it is hard to make people laugh these days, with all stress we are living! HILARIOUS JOKES FROM OTHER DIMENSION Is not a tiny book that you will finish in an hour, It is a funny joke book, containing more than 3 HUNDREDS of hilarious not only short jokes, THAT YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD BEFORE! There are no pictures inside and no plagiarism at all, there are only good jokes, translated from different cultures, and adapted for English speaking community, and that will spread joy around you for days...This book can be a perfect gift for you father or your child, your wife or husband, or for some family member who had a surgery with long recovery time, It can also be the best entertainer for a soldier behind enemy lines! For children and grown people too, including several categories of jokes that much with different senses of humor.Couple's life; Animals; School; Misers; Dumbs; Stoned people; Thug Life ... And too many others, even some Dark humor at the end!I excluded adult and sexual jokes, even if it's th efunniest, may be I will gather them in a special edition in the future.Having this book with you will make you a funny person, who keeps telling hilarious new jokes, and being funny, can start conversations and enlarge your network ... Or can simply make your trip or gathering less boring!I remember that I had a standard joke about smoking at the airport that I use to tell to people I have met for the first time, they were complete strangers, in the smoking area at the airport, and it works all the time! The funny joke always leads to good relationship starts!Every time, it made the moments spent for finishing my cigarette more joyful and it allowed me to know people from all over the world.You know the smoking areas at the airport are too tight and there are too many people inside ... And smoke is everywhere and people are exhausted of waiting, sometimes pest off or worried to miss their flights, or just wanting to go back home ... So in the middle of this terrible atmosphere and to break this silence I just say out loud this little sentence: "THEY SAY THAT SMOKERS WILL DIE YOUNGER! SO WE SHOULD BE TREATED BETTER THAN THIS!"And BOOM ... The magic starts and everyone starts laughing and giving feedbacks and comments and telling other jokes...Now I quit smoking, but I did never quit good sense of HUMOR!Jokes are very useful, it could make a nice therapy as well, laughing avoids diseases for sure ... And a good funny joke can save your life! Yes it can, we all remember the "Killer Joke" by Quenten Tarintino in DESPERADO movie that made those dangerous gangsters happy!Wishing you a very amusing reading and we'll be glad to read from you as well.Contact us at: [email protected]©2019 All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form, even creating memes, without written permission from the author. For permissions contact: [email protected]: I am not a native English speaker, and I did not hire a professional to edit my book, so it might contain some mistakes ... Anyway the important thing is the humor in it, and laughing is a universal language!