Humour Lawyers & Criminals Books

Prize Tw*t: Who goes to Colombia to give up cocaine?

On the 28th September 2016 the author, Jonathan Sharp was celebrating his 39th birthday. Sitting pretty with a successful business complete with all the trappings of a half decent lifestyle. Fast forward one year to his 40th birthday and he finds himself living penniless on the streets of Bogota, Colombia. How? Why? Cocaine of course. Prize Tw*t is a dark comedy/memoir about one man’s struggle through life with the four big addictions - sex, drugs, booze and gambling. The book is a very honest and open account of one’s life except for one important factor, there is no struggle in life. He’s a lucky bastard who has pretty much loved and embraced every single second of his chaotic life. From the first high of the the first joint at the age of eleven and through a lifetime of depraved adventure, he has done it all. Right up to the point of losing the plot entirely, defrauding and stealing from his own company whilst high on crack cocaine and fleeing to South America just to buy yet more drugs. The book is a journey that covers many topics including graphic details of drug addiction, excessive drinking, prostitution, theft, euthanasia, mental illness, domestic violence, sexual abuse, marriage breakdown, fatherhood, gambling and all the fun and games that go along with such a crazy lifestyle. A true rags to riches story where one man can work his way out of the poverty stricken South Wales Valleys to find himself jet setting around the world getting paid to have a truly great time. Ultimately, his search for utopia and incessant hunt for booze, cocaine and women will always get the better of him. Whether that is getting fired from work, being ripped off by prostitutes, arrested by the cops or worse. This is a tale about a man who has been through it all. The book is a collection of stories brought together from nearly thirty years of excess, hooking readers in on a journey around the globe. Busting with content, most will be able to relate to many of the tales and say, “How embarrassing, I’ve done that”. Others will want the author imprisoned for an eternity, or even longer. Either way, the book is happy, the book is sad but it hopes to assist and warn others that maybe it just might be the right time to slow down and take account of their actions before it’s too late. Prize Tw*t goes to show that you can only ride your luck for so long. One can make a series of poor decisions and prove you can lose everything that is important to you in the blink of an eye - your children, your freedom and your life as you know it.

Murder At The Grotto: A Bella Tyson short story

All crime writer Bella Tyson wants to do is finish her Christmas shopping in peace at the exclusive London department store, Harridges. But when she sneaks into the store's world famous Santa's Grotto, she discovers something nasty under the Christmas tree...

Fat Boy

Way out west, in the tumbling greens of England, something’s going down. Two boys attempt an escape from the clutches of their poisonous parents… A good policeman fights to sidestep the corruption that blows like hellfire down his neck… A calamitous filmmaker and her witless lead actor scramble desperately to overcome their mucky pasts and make a Hollywood hit… A trio of nude-nutted nasties thrash their way through the picturesque countryside, collecting debts but finding more than they expected… Then there’s Captain Grubbe: the eminent, manipulative and falsely titled antichrist. He hosts a spectacular annual Christmas party, and this year’s is set to be even more extraordinary than usual.Fat Boy is a treacherously fictitious rhapsody, taking a tongue-in-cheek look at the best and the worst of humanity and treating it with the disrespect it deserves - love and hate, corruption and extortion, car chases, gunfights and high jinks, all set against the green and pleasant landscapes of the English countryside. It is ludicrous. It is raucous. It is a modern classic."Fat Boy really was something else; refreshing, different and quintessentially British. I will certainly be following this author with some interest in the future." - Grant Leishman, Readers’ Favorite"The best thing about this book is the descriptions the author employs to create character and scene. It is so scrumptious that I found myself lost in its delicacy and sad when it had gone." - Nicole Howard, Writer's Digest