Horror Parodies & Satires Books

The Blacktongue Thief Sneak Peek

Set in a world of goblin wars, stag-sized battle ravens, and assassins who kill with deadly tattoos, Christopher Buehlman's The Blacktongue Thief begins a 'dazzling' (Robin Hobb) fantasy adventure unlike any other. Download a FREE sneak peek today!Kinch Na Shannack owes the Takers Guild a small fortune for his education as a thief, which includes (but is not limited to) lock-picking, knife-fighting, wall-scaling, fall-breaking, lie-weaving, trap-making, plus a few small magics. His debt has driven him to lie in wait by the old forest road, planning to rob the next traveler that crosses his path.But today, Kinch Na Shannack has picked the wrong mark.Galva is a knight, a survivor of the brutal goblin wars, and handmaiden of the goddess of death. She is searching for her queen, missing since a distant northern city fell to giants.Unsuccessful in his robbery and lucky to escape with his life, Kinch now finds his fate entangled with Galva's. Common enemies and uncommon dangers force thief and knight on an epic journey where goblins hunger for human flesh, krakens hunt in dark waters, and honor is a luxury few can afford.“The Blacktongue Thief is fast and fun and filled with crazy magic. I can't wait to see what Christopher Buehlman does next." - Brent Weeks, New York Times bestselling author of the Lightbringer seriesAt the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Ghosts of the Black Abbey: Ten Tales of the Supernatural

Spirits and demons from the Black Abbey's 700-year history steal into the companionable existence of the pensioners who live on the site today. The influence of M R James informs ten tales in which the supernatural rises gradually out of quiet beginnings to haunt the ancient buildings and beautiful grounds. The residents encounter occasional humour as well as horror in their experience of phantoms becoming flesh, of a killing curse, and of much more, including a benign cricketer who ghosts through the final story.

The War On Horror II: Return of the Undead Menace

The world remains in a state of flux, but life in a post-zombie society goes on.It’s now three years since Bernard Marlowe’s stunning election victory. Incidents involving the undead have fallen to an all-time low, and great strides have been made in the development of a groundbreaking treatment to reverse the devastating effects of the infection.The new prime minister is still grappling with the realization that running the country isn’t quite the walk in the park he thought it might be. The one-time flavor of the month is now the most unpopular leader in recent memory. His scandal-plagued government has degenerated into a laughing stock and is hurtling head-first toward a humiliating electoral defeat. Regaining the public’s trust, or restoring their deepest fears, may be his only chance of winning – and there is nothing he won’t do to hold on to power.

Every Little Evil: An Urban Fantasy Mystery Thriller. (The Hipposync Archives Book 1)

Bloody symbols in a locked room. A missing victim. Lots of clues but no explanation. There is only one person the police can turn to…once they’ve had a cup of tea.Captain K Porter is a specialist. Her job is to ensure that nothing unpleasant sneaks across the border into our world from all the others. Because something is always trying, the monstrous little buggers. 

When a high-profile politician disappears from a house under armed guard, the authorities are clueless. The arcane symbols daubed on his bedroom wall don’t help. 

Neither does the fact that they’re written in his own dripping blood.
Nor that the missing minister is a philandering, pompous git.

For supernatural investigator Kylah, this is a chance to earn her spurs. But as well as confronting an unsolvable puzzle, she faces hostility in the shape the cynical police officer running the investigation. 
He doesn’t believe in the occult. He’s convinced it’s just another tawdry urban crime. But Kylah suspects someone’s paying a terrible price for dipping a toe, or something even less savoury, in the murky depths of the dark arts. 
She knows her career and the missing man’s life are on the line. Now time is running out for the both of them…NB — Please be aware this is a short introduction to the series and is only 75 pages long.
Every Little Evil is an urban fantasy crime story full of intrigue, mystery and dry, sardonic humour. If you like Jim Butcher, Terry Pratchett, Ben Aaronovitch, Robert Crane, Shayne Silver, Patricia Briggs, Megan Scott Molin or Wilkie Martin, you’re sure to LOVE this, short, sharp and FREE first instalment in the Hipposync Archives.
Now re-released with new covers.
Click or tap BUY NOW to jump into a world YOU won’t want to leave TODAY. And it’s totally FREE for crying out loud.

Handbook for the Criminally Insane (Codex of the Demon King 1)

Zombies. Ghosts. A serial killer. Demon Chihuahua.So, you know, bring an axe or something.Welcome to Redmondsburg. You’re just gonna love it here! From the tall statue of Hank Redmond - the founder of the town - in Pheasant Park, to the local eateries and historic library over on Whipple Avenue. Main Street is literally gorged with quaint antique emporiums and locally owned trinket shops! You’ll be so busy soaking in the small town atmosphere that you won’t even mind the smell emanating from somewhere south of town. There’s nothing of any interest happening at Lakeshore Cemetery, and there are no strange or repulsive odors. In fact, forget I even mentioned it. Dead means dead in Redmondsburg. We promise. The Mayor, currently campaigning for re-election, is a friendly sort. He isn’t bent on sacrificing an innocent on Halloween in order to bind with an ancient and unholy power. Nope, not him. His little dog isn’t a bloodthirsty demon. Of course not! It’s perfectly safe here.You’re just gonna love it! We all do. Oh and if you see someone that looks dead or something, it’s probably the flu. It definitely wouldn’t be a zombie. Because that would just be stupid. The book is free, so take one!

The Zombie-Driven Life

High school nobody Kenan is doing just fine in the midst of the zombie apocalypse, thank you very much, but when his dream girl Katy comes stumbling around the corner, she turns his world upside-down as they embark on a nightmarish road trip that leads to the very source of the plague of the walking dead. An action-packed horror tale laced with dark humor."Well-written and highly entertaining. Great dollops of black humour and some wonderful characterisation round out this extremely enjoyable romp. Definitely one to add to the private library." Necroscope"The Zombie Driven Life is a fast-paced, zombie story that manages to be thoughtful, humorous, and surprising while giving zombie fans everything they love about the genre—gore, desperate situations, and a big body count. The perfect book to devour in a single day." Jeremy Bishop, author of Torment"Wood paints a horrific scenario of a world in ruin and a few survivors struggling to find safe havens and a reason to carry on. Powerful and disturbing by turns, with plenty of black humour along the way. The Zombie-Driven Life is a great read." Alan Baxter, author of RealmShift and MageSign"Give The Zombie-Driven Life a try - it may just set you on the road to obsession!" The Aussie Zombie

Horrorshow

Riley Haig is a mild-mannered wage slave returning to his hometown following a decade-long absence. From the moment he arrives, everything feels off by a degree or two. Dark secrets lurk behind every corner, long-forgotten figures re-emerge from his murky past, and he is haunted by the eerie notion that something terrible could happen at any given moment.Then the bodies begin piling up.Langdon Pryce is a bestselling novelist in creative freefall, in the middle of writing a story about a mild-mannered wage slave returning to his hometown following a decade-long absence. A crisis of confidence forces him to re-examine his own life and values, spurring him on to produce what he hopes could be his greatest work to date.Then things get weird.

It's the Apocalypse, Dave: Try to Have Fun

Dave's a bit of a loser. Even he'd admit that was true. He's no good at relationships, he's a terrible employee, and he's got no clue what to do with his life. Quite frankly, the world doesn't seem to have a place for him. But that's okay, because the world's just about to end.An experiment thousands of miles away is about to initiate a world-wide apocalypse that's going to change everything. The world as Dave knew it is over, and he's going to find that the apocalypse has it in for him. While people all around him become infected by nightmarish creatures, Dave discovers he's got some friends left alive who need his help. Together, they're going to have to do battle with parasitic squid creatures out for blood, and find a way to survive an apocalypse designed to eliminate all human life.

Anno Zombus: Year 1; January (Anno Zombus- Year 1)

Prepare for the AuspocalypseNew Years Eve...The Beginning of the End...The final days of Humanity...This harrowing journal of survival will keep readers hooked right from the start, as a small group trying to stay alive at the end of everything are presented with threats from every angle...

The Little Town Creeps: Werewolves, Folklore and Fiends: Book 1

Introducing ‘’The Little Town Creeps’’ – Werewolves, Folklore and Fiends Book 1.A Breathtaking and NEW Horror-Comedy Series by a young Successful Author Courtneey J. Williams! "Does science beat myth?"For ''The Littletown Creeps’', four teenage boys obsessed with horror movies, it was obvious what that thing was, but it didn’t seem possible. How could the horror they loved on the screen suddenly become a threat in their real world? How could they, armed only with books and fragments of folklore, prepare themselves before the next full moon? Introducing ‘’The Little Town Creeps’’ – Werewolves, Folklore and Fiends ”

Anno Zombus: Year 1; June (Anno Zombus- Year 1 Book 6)

The sixth incredible installment of a journal of survival after the end of everything

Sorry Charlie: The Thrill is Gone

Supernatural Satire Short Story!Rabbi Wiseman the old Jewish priest made one crucial mistake. He allowed the steady rocking of the subway car to lull him into unconsciousness. After three days without a wink of sleep, who could blame him? A bottle of sacramental wine and a loaf of unleavened bread for his family were tucked neatly in a nap sack between his feet.Charlie spied on the slumbering man of God. His wicked mind imagined endless scenarios to steal the treasure at his feet. His beady eyes flashed back and forth for danger or eyewitnesses. Then he strolled by and snatched the bag up in his fists. The rabbi snorted in his delirious slumber as the thief got away without a trace.At home, his druggy girlfriend Faith began to prophesy, "Do not take the Lord's Supper in vain. You know that it is the Lord's body and His blood. You will bring judgment on yourself. Some are sick and some sleep in death by foolishly taking what belongs to the children of God."Charlie drank the holy wine and said, "I don't care who I hurt."Faith bowed to the screaming of her stomach and tormented soul. She spoke a silent prayer asking for forgiveness as she unwrapped the cloth from the sacred bread. She ate half of the loaf before he stole the remainder from her.Faith spoke and her gravelly voice was now that of a sweet nightingale, "You should have listened to my warning."

How to be a saint (The Salvation game Book 1)

Who stands between you and the devil when the lights go out?A novice Guardian is sent to earth to battle sin and the devil on behalf of a boy. The boy is in such a state that the Guardian thinks he is possessed. The Guardian appeals to heaven for divine intervention to help him in his quest.With only the advice of a reluctant mentor and a pair of Sin Detectives, he must stop the boy from going to hell. Otherwise, he could be next….A satire about heaven, hell, and all in between. With a hell of a lot of sin.‘How to be a saint’ is the first novel in the horror satire series ‘The Salvation Game’.Buy ‘How to be a saint’ to explore this exciting new series today.

Celebrity Chef Zombie Apocalypse (Zomtastic Book 1)

Floyd Rampant is ready to cook – and humanity is on the menu.After the celebrity chef rises from his grave, he aims to create a zombie army of chefs who will rule the world, using the human species as the main ingredient in their cordon bleu meals.Can Floyd be stopped before it’s too late, or will we all end up roasted, then drizzled in a rich chasseur sauce?Part horror story, part social satire, this novel gives you a fast-paced entrée of dread, followed by a main course of panic and a dessert of distress.

SKIVERS: A 90s Coming of Age Story (and The Comedy of Horrors That Is Growing Up)

The year is 1996The month is JulyThe travelling funfair is in townBut Andrew Appleby and the gang are groundedAfter a playground fight gets them a one-way ticket to the detention room (aka. The Cave) a motley crew of youths – led by bad boy Tyson Scott – make a great escape, one last bid for adventure before their big move up to high school come September. From breaking into a house to giving security guards the run-around, climbing bridges to racing downhill in a trolley – all the while the entire local police force breathing down their necks, not to mention the headmaster and their parents – this motley crew of youths are on a voyage, a mission to reach the promise land that is the travelling funfair, struggling to find themselves as well as their way. The fact that it's miles away and won’t open till after school doesn’t seem to bother them – their captain has a plan…

Ramblings of a Middle-aged Madman : (poems and 2 short horror stories)

Poems with the only theme being one word titles. Two short horror stories. Ramblings from late night insomnia.