Humour Political Books

Cover Your Ass: Foolproof Excuses for Any Occasion

We all get into trouble. We are late. We got caught speeding. We didn't get our homework in on time. Now here is the book that gives you foolproof funny excuses for almost any situation.

Complete with illustrations and scenarios, Cover Your Ass gives you the foolproof excuses to cover your butt. Examples of chapters include:

o Why I Won't Have Sex With You

o Why I Can't Come to Work

o Why I Can't Go to the Gym

o Why I Sent You a Drunk Text

o Why I Went Off My Diet

Using the humorous excuses in this book can bail you out of difficult situations. So there is no excuse for failing to buy this book!

The author is the recipient of the Noble Prize in Literature, the recipient of the Pulitzer Prize, and a New York Times Bestselling author. Of course, none of that is remotely true, but he has a good excuse for making that up. Read the book for the answer!

Donald Trump's BIG covfefe

Some voters like to pretend that size doesn't matter, but deep down, every voter knows that nothing satisfies like Donald Trump's big covfefe. Find out everything you need to know about Trump's big covfefe. It's the secret to love, long life, good health and happiness. So open this book wide and come inside for your biggest covfefe yet!

SAMPLE

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When the world says give up, Trump's big covfefe rises and says, try it one more time.

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Trump's big covfefe starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a swallow.

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If I received a flower every time I thought about Trump's big covfefe, I'd empty all the gardens in the world.

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I don't know the question, but Trump's big covfefe is certainly the answer.

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Trump's big covfefe and trust are sisters.

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Everyone says that you only fall for Trump's big covfefe once. But that's not true, every time I see Trump's big covfefe I fall for Trump's big covfefe all over again.

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Trump's big covfefe is like the wind. If you close your eyes you cannot see it, but you can feel it.

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Trump's big covfefe is like a butterfly. It goes where it pleases and it pleases where it goes.

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Don't worry about whether or not the Trump's big covfefe will rise. Just be prepared to enjoy it.

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Trump's big covfefe is only boring to the people who themselves are boring.

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I want Trump's big covfefe more today than I did yesterday, but not as much as I will want Trump's big covfefe tomorrow.

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The Very Angry Caterwauler

WARNING: Not for the thin-skinned or politically correct.



Riffing off of Eric Carle's beloved children's book classic, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, D Trumple Thinskin's latest illustrated master-pastiche, The Very Angry Caterwauler, brutally shanghais us on a forced revisitation of the helium-filled rise of the Golden Buffoon, the Cheddar-toned Baboon, the Orange Goon, from his immodest beginnings in a Queen's townhouse, through an audacious candidacy, and finally to an inexplicable election to the throne of the United States Presidency. Released on the eve of his 200th day in office, The Very Angry Caterwauler is proving to be more biographically accurate than the main stream media.

Also be sure to look for Thinskin's first title, Goodnight Moron, a bedtime nightmare - er, story - about Drumph's worst hundred daze - sorry, first hundred days - in office.