Humour Love, Sex & Marriage Books

A Quick Trip to BuyMart: A Comedy in Four Parts

Another hilarious look at the challenges of parenting, as the father of a young girl is suddenly tasked with getting her a leotard before her first gymnastics class. What happens next is an endearing journey of comedy that we've all been through: the challenge of shopping quickly combined with the fun and magic of childhood. The result is a fun romp that will have any parent laughing out loud. Moms and dads alike will laugh along with the characters in this epic journey masquerading as A Quick Trip to BuyMart!

Love Gone to the Dogs (Second Chances, Book 1)

Love Gone to the Dogs, Book 1 Second Chances Series, by Margaret Daley, sweet contemporary romantic comedic

Single mom, Leah Taylor, has her hands full with a grandfather, an inventor, who lives a bit risky when it comes to his job and two sons, one a rambunctious genius. But it is her free spirited beagle who gets her into trouble with her new neighbor, Dr. Shane O'Grady, when her dog makes a move on his champion bichon that he wants to breed.

Leah and Shane clash over their dogs that clearly like each other. Leah is determined to ignore her neighbor, but when her youngest son who tries to defy gravity and fly ends up hurt, it is her neighbor, the doctor, who takes care of her son. Can Leah and Shane find love or has love gone to the dogs?

Excerpt from Love Gone to the Dogs

When Leah Taylor heard the pounding on her front door at seven o'clock in the morning, she jumped, nearly sloshing her coffee all over her hand. Did burglars now announce themselves before stealing a person blind? No one else in his right mind would be out visiting at this time. Carefully, so as not to spill the hot brew, she placed the mug on the kitchen counter and made her way toward the insistent pounding that she was sure was waking up the whole neighborhood.

She peered out a narrow slit in her mini blind and saw an enraged, huge man standing on her front porch with a shredded newspaper in one hand. The other was clenched at his side. He wore practically nothing except a pair of jean shorts. He stepped back and glanced around, clearly not happy that no one had answered his summons.

Backing away from the window next to her door, Leah nervously chewed the end of one of her acrylic nails. The man looked familiar. She was sure she had seen him in the yard across the street. He had to be a neighbor. But why was he welcoming her to the neighborhood at such an early hour, and with an angry expression on his face? She had been here only a few days, and her family hadn't done anything yet to upset the delicate balance of this small town. Or had they? She thought back over the past few days of almost nonstop unpacking. She had been too tired to even venture from the house much, and the same went for the rest of her family--she hoped.

When the pounding started again, she was so surprised by the sound that she bit through the end of her new acrylic nail. Well, now he was making her mad. Without thinking, she yanked open the front door and prepared to confront the man who had the nerve to pay her a call at seven o'clock in the morning.

"Look what you made me do!" Leah held up her hand. "I've tried everything to grow my own nails long, and nothing's worked. I finally decide to get fake ones--that I might, by the way, tell you cost me forty dollars--and look what your pounding has done. They haven't even lasted one week." She blew out a deep breath, then brushed her bangs away from her face in frustration.

His dark eyes widened, and his mouth dropped open. He started to say something, but decided instead to allow his gaze to trek downward slowly--way too slowly for Leah's peace of mind. A blush leaped into her cheeks as she remembered her skimpy attire. She controlled the strong urge to try to stretch her large, white T-shirt until it covered more than the tops of her thighs. When his survey stopped at her bare feet, her toes wiggled as if they had a will of their own.

She felt practically naked under his intense look. While he was staring at her, she began at his bare feet, which were braced apart in a stance that conveyed his anger, not one toe wiggling. Her gaze traveled upward over long legs that probably belonged to a runner, to narrow hips that the jean material hugged nicely. She paused ever so slightly at the washboard ripples in his flat stomach and came to the decision that the man worked out religiously, something she religiously tried to avoid. Her impression of his being an exercise freak was confirmed when he

Burn's World - In every love triangle, a heart will break : A romantic and humorous crime and suspense read

"If you've ever stalked your ex on Facebook, or cried when the man you loved married someone else, then you will love Burn's World." Amazon Reviewer

******

To fit in with the wealthy and popular girls at school, bi-racial Burn is desperate to change her Facebook status to "In a relationship."

So when the school star athlete, blue-eyed, blonde haired, Brody McGraw asks her out, Burn can hardly believe her luck. Brody is crazy about Burn, she is crazy about Brody, and it is a huge thrill to finally change her relationship status on Facebook.

However, Brody's mother has huge political plans for her family and she makes it clear, that they do not include someone like mixed-race Burn.

Because of Dawn's rejection, Burn suffers severe bouts of self-loathing and eventually decides to make a decision that breaks her heart - she walks away from Brody and the racist McGraw family. Brody is absolutely crushed and tries desperately to change Burn's mind.

Enter Trojan Catrell, a street thug and an enemy of Brody McGraw. He's noticed Brody and Burn together and since he holds a grudge against the over privileged Brody, he decides that he's going to make Burn his. Bad boy Trojan sets about wooing Burn.

There's a problem: Burn's not interested in Trojan and his tattoos. Her heart still longs for Brody McGraw, in spite of everything.

There's a bigger problem: Trojan has no intention of taking no for an answer. In fact, when Burn rejects him, he becomes obsessed with her, especially since he's never been rejected by a woman before.

Then there's an even bigger problem: Brody is furious at Trojan's gall and swears to find a way to get even with Trojan.

Then there's an even bigger problem, huge! Trojan is possessive, jealous and he is not someone you should cross. Ever!

The result is a complicated, explosive, jealously-laden, drama-filled, heartbreaking, yet humoros read from Eve Rabi that will keep you turning pages.

This romantic suspense thriller, new adult, humorous love triangle spans years - from adolescence to adult and is free for a limited time.

Book Two of Burn's World - When You Touch Me Like That, is available for sale and is free on kindleunlimited.

Reviews:

"Once you read this book every other book you read after it pales in comparison."

"If you see Eve Rabi as the author of a book, you can guarantee it will be well worth the money to read. Her Burn series are exciting, sensual, and realistic." Amazon reviewer

"Very good read. I just started reading it yesterday and I just couldn't put it down."

"This book was great. Rabi writing was unique and interesting. I was laughing and reading, even took a longer break just to keep reading."

"I loved it. I laughed, I got angry enough to pause my kindle, and I cried. I'm a picky reader and I'm glad this book didn't leave me asking for a refund."

"This is a smokin' hot series. I am addicted, I can't wait for each book."

YouTube video:

http://youtu.be/JAXPeXrP5

Have you got Eve's Rabi's free books? If you haven't, click on www.everabi.wordpress.com & for a limited time download 4 free books!

romantic suspense, romantic crime, crime fiction, free romance contemporary, free new adult, free romance suspense, free romantic mystery thrillers, free romance mystery and crime, free books in kindle, free romance with strong alpha males, free romantic comedy, romance humor, free interracial romance, romance, free multiracial and interracial, kindle books romance, free fiction free books, free paranormal romance, major crimes, free Romantic crime novels, romantic suspense kindle books, suspense thrillers and mysteries, free psychological thrillers, romantic suspense series, Romantic comedy kindle books, Humorous romance, New adult romance in books, jealousy, love triangles, crime fiction, bad boy, alpha males, heartbreak, cheating ex, cheating, obsession, books, kindle, girl, novels, free books, gripping, adventure, free books in kindle store, series, mystery

101 Dirty Jokes - sexual and adult's jokes

Sex and humor. 101 hilarious and dirty jokes for adults.

Famous Quotes About Sex

Sooner or Later...You Will Get Caught

**SHORT STORY**TRUE STORY

Kids often do things they know they shouldn't do. And they all think they won't get caught. But this true story proves the adage - "It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but sooner or later....you WILL get caught"

This fun read begins with a young girl, and her budding career in parental note forgery. Thirty years later, it comes back to haunt her in the most amusing way -proving once and for all that what goes around, comes around! Perfect short read for those "waiting for the kids to get out of school/practice/dance/etc." moments.

Includes a bonus excerpt from Stranger Danger - How to Talk to Kids About Strangers.

Love Handles (A Romantic Comedy) (Oakland Hills)

The world of fitness apparel isn't ready for Beverly Lewis. She hates the gym, is nice to everybody, and shops at Ross Dress for Less. When she's not teaching preschool, she's wearing yoga pants . . . to nap in. So when she inherits her estranged grandfather's fitnesswear company in San Francisco, nobody expects her to keep it. Fite Fitness needs a heartless suit to save it from bankruptcy, not a thirty-year-old woman who cries when her students leave for kindergarten. Someone like Liam Johnson. A former Olympic swimmer, Liam is Fite's executive vice president. Unlike Bev, he's devoted his life to Fite's success. Managing one little preschool teacher--and his attraction to her--shouldn't be an issue. Right? But Bev's tired of being underpaid and underrated, and refuses to step aside as an obedient figurehead. To everyone's shock and horror, she moves up to San Francisco, sets up an office, and dives into the business. Nothing--not mockery, not exercise, not sabotage, not a disastrously hot night with her aggravating VP--is going to scare her away. As Liam realizes she's tougher than she looks, he discovers that losing Fite might not be nearly as bad as losing her . . .

Dating an Alien Pop Star

Daisy Kirkwood has only just escaped her small-town life and run away to New York City, the land of last-minute secret gigs at famous musical venues, when she's kidnapped by aliens. Unfortunately, no one ever writes about how to handle alien abduction in those fancy NYC guidebooks. Griffin and Dev are supermassively sexy aliens from a politically and environmentally troubled planet who arrive on Earth with very little knowledge about human ways other than what they learned from a wayward "E! News" signal. Their mission is to pretend to be the most influential people on the planet English pop stars, of course! and gain the help of a powerful secret society. Upon arriving, they abduct Daisy Kirkwood, a nerdy young woman who loves music but could seriously use a bit of help in the love-life department. Though Griffin and Daisy initially squabble, neither can deny the intergalactic sparks whenever they're too close to each other. Together, they must face murderous aliens, cultural misunderstandings, bad backup musicians, and the dark side of fame and the media, all set against a tight deadline Part "High Fidelity," part "Bridget Jones' Diary," part "Doctor Who," "Dating an Alien Pop Star" is a sexy romantic comedy."

Love Finds You: The Helena's Grove Series Book 1

Note: This book was previously published under "Love Is Thicker Than Blood" by Ivy Alexander. New content has been added including an extended ending, with twists and turns you'll be sure to love!

Sweet romance with a twist!

Jennifer Berkley is a straightforward, ambitious, soon-to-be lawyer in the fast, driven city of New York. She doesn't have the patience or time to deal with people who can't or won't give her what she wants. When her father asks her to visit her aunt in Ohio as her last dying wish, Jen is immediately resistant, but reconsiders when her father makes her an offer she can't refuse.

Jen finds Ohio a much different pace than New York, and is beginning to enjoy country life when she meets Zack LaFaye, a good-looking, helpful man who is adored by her aunt. Each encounter with him leaves Jen flustered and annoyed. The question is glaring: does she have feelings for him, or does she hate him so much that she can't decide?

Amidst a country backdrop, Jen discovers feelings and experiences no city girl is prepared for. As the summer unfolds, she finds herself questioning everything. Using her skill and training as a lawyer, Jen uncovers a trail of deceit she didn't see coming. With a vengeance, she is determined to find out the truth. Someone is lying to her, but who?

Love Finds You is a clean romance novel full of charming intrigue, with twists, turns, love, romance and drama that will leave you breathless as Jen must decipher her feelings, and the truth.



Helena's Grove Series ebook Categories

- free romance books for kindle fire

- free romance series set

- free clean romance kindle books

- free sweet romance books

- free romantic comedy books

- free inspirational romance

- free romantic books

Confessions of a Queen B*: Volume 1 (The Queen B*)

Alexis Wyndham is the other type of Queen B-the Queen B*tch. After years of being the subject of ridicule, she revels in her ability to make the in-crowd cower via the exposes on her blog, The Eastline Spy. Now that she's carved out her place in the high school hierarchy, she uses her position to help the unpopular kids walking the hallways. Saving a freshman from bullies? Check. Swapping insults with the head cheerleader? Check. Falling for the star quarterback? So not a part of her plan. But when Brett offers to help her solve the mystery of who's posting X-rated videos from the girls' locker room, she'll have to swallow her pride and learn to see past the high school stereotypes she's never questioned-until now."

Love and Chaos: (Standalone Bad Boy Romance) (Growing Pains Book 4)

From USA Today Bestselling author, Willow Summers, is a hilarious and steamy romance.

It was supposed to be easy. Just a quick trip to the wine country to help her good friend, Peter.

She never expected to meet his bad boy brother...

Muscled, tattooed, and riding a Harley, Jace has Cassie's heart racing and blood boiling. Struggling to keep her desire on a tight leash, she must do everything she can to keep Peter's secret. But resisting that dimpled smile is harder than she could've ever imagined...

A standalone book based on the bestselling Growing Pains series. HEA. No cliffhanger!

Senseless Attraction

Risking it All: The Rosewoods - A Short Story

Things are not going well for Brady Fleming, Rosewood equestrian coach and Olympic hopeful. Thanks to a careless fall off his horse, he is now on crutches - out of training and a job. Not to mention he's had to promise Brooklyn he'll back off so they could be just friends, which is the last thing he wants. The worst part is he knows she's into him too; she's as much as admitted it. And that kiss... There is no denying their chemistry after that kiss at the costume dance. But he can't date a student and he balked when she asked him if he was willing to risk it all to be with her. Now that his job and training are on hold, his outlook has changed and he's beginning to realize what really matters and what he wants from his life.

Maybe that girl who showed up on campus and turned his heart inside out is worth risking everything for after all.

Read Risking it All, a short story from Brady's perspective, in preparation for Making Ripples, The Rosewoods book 6.

Mouth Open Story Fell Out: Cynical Rants Of A Singleton

Running on nothing but a busted heart, a potty mouth and the blinking cursor on a screen, Shem uses her latest breakup and a laptop as free therapy.

After unexpectedly being inducted into the hall of singledom by her closeted girlfriend (the girl she probably should never have fallen for) and urged by a friend to stop crying and start writing, Shem takes to penning the do's and don'ts of trying to move on from an ex but still failing miserably. This short non-fiction narrative presents a collection of rambling romantic faux pas backed up with zero scientific research, just outlandish statements!

"Recently I read a quote by American musician Frank Ocean, which said: 'If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Seriously, punch them in the face, and go get ice cream.' I instantly fell in love with this, as it captured exactly how I felt after the self-pity and dramatic wailing had subsided."

Packed with hilariously tragic pearls of wisdom and self-inflicted drama, this short compilation of writing is an insight into the life of a single girl and the brain burps of all things love related. Mouth Open Story Fell Out: Cynical Rants of a Singleton simply offers a little heads up when trying to navigate the minefield that is the single life.

The Law of Attraction: Volume 1 (Lawyers In Love)

A funny, hot, and sexy new release from N.M. Silber Once upon a time two lawyers fell in love across a courtroom ... Gabrielle Ginsberg was a public defender with plenty of nerve and Braden Pierce was an assistant district attorney with a whole lot of swagger. Gabrielle wanted Braden and Braden wanted Gabrielle. And Cameron wanted Gabrielle. And Marla wanted Braden. And Cole wanted Gabrielle. And Mrs. Mason wanted Braden. And an anonymous letter writer wanted to keep Gabrielle and Braden apart. Together Gabrielle and Braden discovered many important things, like which doors at the courthouse actually locked, and that desks could be useful for more than writing. They also found out that the path of love was not always smooth, and it was sometimes trod upon by some really wacky people, like a confused fanny grabber, an eighty-two year old pothead and a gentleman who threw a wine and cheese party in his pants. Could true love overcome a lack of privacy, interference by jealous rivals and the insanity of the criminal court system? NOTICE: This book contains explicit descriptions of sexual situations and mature language. It is intended for readers over the age of eighteen.

Did You Spank Your Wife Last Night? (The Sundowner Diaries)

A humorous adult essay on the fall out from the book publishing phenomenon 50 Shades Of Grey. Plus 3 other fun articles.

[Articles - Adult Humor - 8000 words - 21 pages]

They Win. You Lose.: Sex, Violence & Songs from the Shows (The Implosion Saga (Book 1))

They Win. You Lose. By Stan Arnold

Sex, Violence and Songs from the Shows.

They Win. You Lose. is the first book of The Implosion Saga. It's a very funny thriller. Mick and Jim are two incompetent, Soho-based, corporate video producers. They drink too much and don't earn enough.

So when the Mafia come calling, demanding back rent of ?6,000, they have ten minutes to do a runner. All they have is an old Morris Traveller (a Woodie, if you're in the US) and a tank full of petrol.

Their sudden flight takes them to the sex trade in Southsea, out-of-body experiences, horrendous amateur dramatics, Death Metal pubs, foul-mouthed, 80-year-old punk grannies and hit men dressed in pink Mexican outfits.

Under constant threat from enforcers, they get offered a mystery job in Las Vegas. When they arrive, six Reservoir Dogs' lookalikes are waiting for them. They make their escape using the world's most mercenary taxi driver.

During the next 24 hours, they chicken out a freight train, walk six moonlit miles across the desert with cactus-punctured groins, find out what badly manufactured LSD can do to you, avoid Thelma and Louise suicide-a-likes, have sex with Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper, make a commitment in front of a Bourbon-fuelled Elvis at Big Derek's Gay Marriage Emporium and blow up a Harley Davidson. The final showdown takes place with the mafia boss in the world's most unspeakably lurid theatrical environment. A very neat twist propels them from sudden death into a totally different way of life.

Or does it?

Becoming Us: College love never hurt so good: Volume 1 (London Lovers Series)

The dreaded friend-zone... The last place I ever want to be with college basketball God, Jake LaShae. I am losing my mind trying to figure out what this gorgeous and confident man wants from me. I need to break through his walls. What is it about me that makes him not go there? What am I lacking? When a mind-blowing betrayal knocks the wind out of me, and I think I can't feel any lower...Brody stumbles into my path-barefoot no less, and sexy as hell. His direct and mouth-watering swagger is a breath of fresh air. The feelings this man gives me are like nothing I've ever experienced. But Brody has a past. A past that makes it nearly impossible for him to trust me and let us become us in whatever capacity that may be. Just when Brody and I truly connect, just when I think that finding my soul-mate in college isn't a total joke, Jake comes back into my life...and messes things up...possibly for good.

Halloween Pranks: Seven pranks for the week leading up to Halloween

A fully illustrated prank book for the week leading up to Halloween. Quick and easy pranks to pull on your kids, friends or lovers - if they deserve it - during the season of spook!

There is no easier way to say you love someone than to show them, right? And if showing means making them smile, even better. Try a seasonal love prank to make your kid, friends or lover laugh!

If you are running low on ideas, no worries! Haunted Holly, the top agent from the WeLovePranks Agency will show you how in the Halloween Pranks prank book!

The French Love Pastry and Her Tale in the Sand: A Dip into the Byblos Foretold Novaplex

Once upon a time, on the north coast of France, a callipygian chambermaid set her sights on a rich American with a fetish. It's the spring of 1903, and the coy Nicole--intoxicated by a combination of youthful infatuation and ageless avarice--puts all her most promising parts to work. But it's not by her comely tail she'll win this learned lad's heart, for his obsession runs deeper--or, at least, further down....

Reminiscent of the tales comprising The Decameron, this singular story recounts yet another skirmish in the age-old battle of the sexes, and then betters Boccaccio by adding a pair of instructive morals, a la: If you lead him by the nose, be sure to check the porridge for parts.

For more information on the novaplex, please visit: ByblosForetold.com

How to Survive Falling in Love on the 3rd Strike (The Crazy Lives of John Dybvig)

Have you ever had the urge to walk out on your life - to stop and start again?

Californian John Dybvig has made a habit of it. He's travelled the world, changing jobs more than 100 times in search of happiness. He's done everything from coach professional sport to acting roles in Hollywood blockbusters. He's left a trail of broken relationships but finally found true love to become a dad at 50 and a house husband at 60.

The Crazy Lives of John Dybvig is his collection of books in which he shares the twists and turns of his amazing life - stories that will always make you laugh, sometimes make you want to cry and could make you wonder about your own life and where it's going.

Follow this larger-than-life lunatic as he rampages through the United States, Australia and New Zealand in a quest for contentment.

How to Survive Falling in Love on the 3rd Strike is Dybvig's moving story of how he finally found true romance when he least expected - and how love changed his wild man ways.

Other books in this series are How to Survive as a Sports Jock with Attitude, How to Survive Travel as a Loud American, How to Survive Being a New Dad at Fifty, How to Survive 103 Jobs and The Mob, How to Survive as a Big Actor with Small Parts and How to Survive as a D-List Celebrity.

The entire series (with bonus chapter) is available in a single collection - The Crazy Lives of John Dybvig.

Fuzzy Logic: A Love Story

In the wastes of space and time, a ship on a vital mission begins a journey of self discovery. And swearing.

Back on Earth, the Artificial Intelligence engineer in charge of the mission reveals his true nature as an aspiring mad scientist with decidedly puerile obsessions.

As the ship fights to maintain control of itself in an increasingly empty universe, its creator embarks on a mission to make his dreams of Mad Scientistism a reality.

Caught Between a Lie and True Love: A Caught Between Romance: Volume 1

Welcome to Serendipity Island and the Caught Between romance series. Paige Calhoun has spent years concealing the truth about her family. She's got a new life now, centered around her daughter and her career, and there's no room in it for anything-or anyone-else. But when instincts honed at the side of her con-artist dad warn her that her grandma is in trouble, she returns to Serendipity Island...where every single lie she once told to protect her tender heart could be blown to smithereens. Brody Jackson always thought of Paige Calhoun as the little girl next door. Three years her senior, his sights were set on a football scholarship, and fame and fortune as a pro quarterback. But now he's back home, his career down the tubes, battling the grandma from hell for permanent custody of his teenage daughter...all because of one careless mistake. Brody's got no time for one hot woman who's messing with his mind and his future. And Paige can't afford to let one gorgeous man distract her from saving the residents of the island from her dad's latest scam. All they both want is a life free from the past. Instead, they're caught between the truth and true love... This book includes a family-phobic heroine, a hunky hero whose luck-and love life-are about to change, lies, romance, chocolate chip cookies, nighttime shenanigans, a con-artist who swears he's gone straight, and a battle-of-the-sexes secondary romance.

All For Love

In the sleepy village of Fickleton, there is but one obsession, a young Venus named Evelyn Sands, adored, loved, cherished. But then, one day...