Humour Books

Food-Free at Last: How I Learned to Eat Air

Get the Monkey Off Your Back! Food is a drug. Break the shackles of addiction and learn to eat air! In this detailed guide, Dr. Robert Jones, MD, PhD, DDS, ODD gives you the practical, step-by-step advice you need to transition to the air-only diet.

Common Questions About the Air-Only Diet:

Q: Eating air? Are you crazy?

A: I am a medical doctor with more than forty years of clinical experience. An Obesity Epidemic is sweeping across our great nation. Eating air is the answer.

Q: Isn't there a risk of malnutrition?

A: Not at all! Air contains all the vitamins, minerals, electrolytes and essential amino acids your body needs.

Q: A friend of mine went on the air-only diet and starved to death. Will I die too?

A: Lies, lies and more lies! Propaganda spread by the agro-business special interests that run Washington. They will do anything to keep you down, in ignorance of the truth!

A Million Dieters Can't be Wrong!

Every day the emails pour in:

"Thank you, Dr. Robert Jones, MD, PhD, DDS, ODD! Oh, thank you! I've eaten nothing but air for the last two months and I've lost eight hundred pounds! My husband says I'll make a fine skeleton! I can't wait!!!"

"Damn this air is tasty."

"Dear Dr. Jones, What a discovery! You make Einstein look like an ignoramus. We hereby award you the Prizes for Medicine, Chemistry and Peace." - the Nobel Committee

Also in This Groundbreaking Diet Book:

Lunge and Chomp - Learn the Secrets of Air-Eating Technique! The Twelve Steps to Food Freedom - Anyone Can Do It!The Hidden Menace in Our Society That Can Prevent You From Eating Air - and How We as a Nation Can Overcome It!

About the Author

An acclaimed pioneer in the field of Airitarianism, Dr. Robert Jones, MD, PhD, DDS, ODD has dedicated his life to freeing food-eaters from slavery to addictive caloric substances. That's why he wrote Food-Free at Lastto expose the truth the agro-business special interests don't want you to know. And that's why he's running for President in 2013. It's time to put this country on a diet - the air-only diet, the only diet proven to work. It's time to cure our great nation of the Obesity Epidemic sweeping from coast to coast. It's time to end the oligarchy's influence on our political process and bring true freedom back to America. Go the Power of Air!

Drive, Ride, Repeat: The Mostly True Account of a Cross-Country Car and Bicycle Adventure

This book is wildly funny. I lost track of how many times I laughed out loud. - Kathleen, Amazon Reviewer Author Al Macy is a character and a tightwad with a unique sense of humor. He and his wife squirreled away enough money to retire early, do interesting things, and take unusual trips. As he puts it: "Every day I wake up with nothing to do, and by the end of the day, I've only gotten half of it done." During his working life, Macy was a neuroscientist, computer game programmer, jazz trombonist, chef, CEO, piano player, clam digger, and technical writer. The book is a journal of a car/bicycle/camping trip from California to St. Louis and back, but Macy promises that "if it starts sounding like one of your brother-in-law's boring slide shows, I will stop this book, and we'll turn around and go home. I mean it." Interspersed with the journal chapters, you'll find thought-provoking life tips, stories from the past, and descriptions of Al's wacky inventions. You'll hear poignant anecdotes about what happened when doctors discovered a golf-ball-sized tumor in his wife's brain and how everything they owned burned. But it's not a downer--trust me!

Candide

Candide is a French satire first published in 1759 by Voltaire, a philosopher of the Age of Enlightenment. The novella has been widely translated, with English versions titled Candide: or, All for the Best (1759); Candide: or, The Optimist (1762); and Candide: or, Optimism (1947). It begins with a young man, Candide, who is living a sheltered life in an Edenic paradise and being indoctrinated with Leibnizian optimism (or simply "optimism") by his mentor, Professor Pangloss. The work describes the abrupt cessation of this lifestyle, followed by Candide's slow, painful disillusionment as he witnesses and experiences great hardships in the world. Voltaire concludes with Candide, if not rejecting optimism outright, advocating a deeply practical precept, "we must cultivate our garden," in lieu of the Leibnizian mantra of Pangloss, "all is for the best" in the "best of all possible worlds." Candide is characterised by its sarcastic tone as well as by its erratic, fantastical and fast-moving plot. A picaresque novel with a story similar to that of a more serious bildungsroman, it parodies many adventure and romance cliches, the struggles of which are caricatured in a tone that is mordantly matter-of-fact. Still, the events discussed are often based on historical happenings, such as the Seven Years' War and the 1755 Lisbon earthquake. As philosophers of Voltaire's day contended with the problem of evil, so too does Candide in this short novel, albeit more directly and humorously. Voltaire ridicules religion, theologians, governments, armies, philosophies, and philosophers through allegory; most conspicuously, he assaults Leibniz and his optimism. As expected by Voltaire, Candide has enjoyed both great success and great scandal. Immediately after its secretive publication, the book was widely banned because it contained religious blasphemy, political sedition and intellectual hostility hidden under a thin veil of naivete. However, with its sharp wit and insightful portrayal

Miranda and Me

Hello and welcome to the first book ever written by a dog - me, Miss Peggy Hart. I just couldn't wait any longer for Miranda's book all about me (Peggy and Me) to come out in October so decided to release my own book ahead of Miranda, and here it is!

It turns out I am not just pretty face. And what a pretty face I hear you say. I know. Just look at me. I like to say I look like a cloud breathed by angels. I just say it how I see it. But my skills are not just my incredible natural beauty, I am also quite the literary whizz. And I hope you like my book .

What's even more exciting is it contains Twitter stories from the nation's own #AndMe moments, the best of which Miranda and I have hand-selected to appear in this free ebook! The great British public have spilled the beans on their own doting companions, canine or otherwise. Oh and it also contains a sneak preview from Peggy and Me AND an exclusive introduction from none other than moi and Miranda. Expect laughter and tears - fuelled by a rich reserve of chaotic cats, pompous pooches and the odd human along the way.

I do so hope you like it because I love you very much and want to make you happy. I am lovely like that. Lots of licks and woofs to you and I hope to meet you in person one day.

The Pegster signing out (but do follow me on Twitter @realpeggyhart).

Work Wife Balance

'This is well-written, very funny and I raced through it, occasionally squealing in horror at the antics of Kate's colleagues. It's also a joy to read about a strong woman with a big job and fiery opinions, a nice antidote to the sugary sweet sort of chick lit.' DAILY MAIL. Kate King is furiously flailing to keep afloat. As her team bicker, finger-point and cheat their way through rumours of sackings and site closures, her ill-tempered husband is becoming increasingly embittered and secretive. Kate knows she must address his petulant question: "Surely there's more to life than this?" but all her energies are required to dodge the corporate bullets constantly fired in her direction. Under pressure from an attractive, younger colleague, Kate is also concerned by her sudden invisibility to the opposite sex and the alarming appearance of back fat. Disturbingly, beige knitwear has started to call to her from the shelves of M&S. Growing more and more suspicious of her husband's activities, pressure builds on Kate both at work and at home until her turbulent year reaches its climactic end. Can she continue to balance precariously between work and marriage, or is one end of the scales going to hit the ground with a resounding thud?

Barry Loser: My Dad is a Loser (The Barry Loser Series)

My Dad is a Loser is a madcap must-read for boys who love funny books such as Mr Gum and Wimpy Kid.

For all non-loserish dads and their sons. Read this little book to find out why I, Barry Loser, am definitely not at all loserish, even though my dad definitely is. Praise for my other book, I Am Not A Loser, which is about 8 million times longer than this one:

'Brilliant' - My mum.

'Amazing' - Also my mum

Jim Smith's hilarious illustrated books with their distinctive style and comedy genius make him (and Barry, of course) the coolest - or 'keelest' - new writer of books for kids who love to have fun when they read. Fans of Diary of a Wimpy Kid or David Walliams will love Barry Loser's stories. Jim is also the creator of Waldo Pancake.

Diary of NINJA BOY & Fartypants: Everybody hates Mondays

Hi, my name is Manny Monday. I wish my parents could have named me something cool like Mad Dog Monday, or Muscles Monday. But here I am, good ole Manny. At least I have fartypants. He's my best friend. And when things get serious? That's when I become Ninja Boy...people get saved, girlfriends get rescued, and butts get kicked!

The Mucky Princess: The Mucky Princess Series, Book 1

The Mucky Princess is the first in a series of children's books written as if a fairy story, but in a modern style. The stories are entertaining and humorous, touching on moral issues such as kindness, courage, and tolerance, but are in no way preachy or teachy.

The Princess lives in a beautiful palace and has everything she could possibly need. But the palace is rather boring, and she seeks mischief and adventure by hiding from the servants and getting as mucky as possible. One day she falls through a small door in the palace wall, meets a shepherd boy, and her adventures really begin!

Mouse's Secret Club #1: Let It Snow (Inside the Gym!)

Mouse is rarely seen without one of his beloved pet mice. He is never far from his mystery solving best friend, Rebekah and now he has started his very own secret club.

Join him, Rebekah and 3 other classmates as they set out to have a little fun creating practical jokes and magic tricks while hopefully staying out of trouble in the process.

In Let It Snow, Mouse is determined to create a magnificent magical illusion for his classmates during the first week of school. He has the permission of the new principal and everything seems cool until it goes all wrong!

Go-Go Girls

Prank Gone Wrong: Rebekah, Mouse & RJ: Special Edition

Rebekah, Mouse and RJ each have their own fun short story series and sometimes they come together, bringing you these special editions.

They all love hanging out, solving mysteries and playing pranks together and we hope you will enjoy these special times as well.

It's going to be a great weekend because RJ is coming to Curtis Bay to hang out with his fun detective cousin Rebekah and her best friend Mouse. What RJ doesn't know is that they are planning to introduce and invite him to join Mouse's Secret Club...introduce him to it with a funny prank that is on him until it looks like it might be on the whole town!

Yikes! It looks like the gang might have some explaining to do!

Out on the Net: A Love Story in Blog Form

Ray Tolliver has bad timing. Cold feet? It doesn't get much worse than accepting you're gay twenty minutes before your wedding to a woman, yet that's just what happens.

Join Ray as he recounts in his blog the hilarious and touching events that lead him on a journey toward true love. Although he originally starts looking for love in all the wrong places, will he eventually find another man who wants more than just quick sex? A man who appreciates romance, hearts, and flowers? Or will he find that self-acceptance and bliss do not always go hand-in-hand?

And what of Alice, Ray's lovely, jilted fiancee? Will she find it in her heart to forgive the man who left her at the altar?

These questions and more are answered in this unique love story, told in the form of blog entries. You'll laugh, you'll cry, but you'll come away with a renewed appreciation for the power and difficulties of loving not only others, but yourself...

Story Stack: Action-packed story starters for ages 6-8 and 9-12

Not sure what to get the kids to read next? Let them decide! Story Stack includes Chapters 1-4 of the following fun, fast-paced and popular illustrated chapter books by Karen Inglis: Henry Haynes and the Great Escape (for 6-8yrs) | Eeek! The Runaway Alien (for 7-10yrs) | Walter Brown and the Magician's Hat (for 7-9yrs) PLUS Chapters 1-3 of The Secret Lake (for 8-12 yrs). The Secret Lake is Karen's bestselling time travel mystery adventure story, enjoyed by over 7,000 readers. Karen has been praised by teachers, librarians, parents and reading charities for getting the most reluctant readers turning the pages. Full books available to order in print and/or for Kindle once the kids have had their say :)

Scroll up and click the yellow button to get Story Stack on your Kindle or other eReader - we think the kids and preteens will be back for more...!

Foggy's Blog

Alex Crossed Must Die!: A Parody of the Alex Cross Novels by James Patterson

Detective Alex Crossed is hunting the world's vilest villainous villain, Boris Ballcrusher. In turn, Boris Ballcrusher is hunting Alex Crossed, the world's most incompetent and politically correct multiracial police detective, in this parody of the Alex Cross novels by James Patterson. With the aid of a ninja, a dwarf, a Google-created android named Ali Mode, and a monomaniacal air force general, Crossed must travel to Castle Dracula, Egypt, and Topeka in his quest to stop Ballcrusher from taking over the world.

Not widely praised by the greatest crime, thriller, and comedy writers of our time, ALEX CROSSED MUST DIE! is, nonetheless, a jaw-dropping story created for James Patterson fans who have a sense of humor, for disgruntled fans of James Patterson, and for those who enjoy highly irreverent and very politically incorrect humor.

Initially published on August 12, 2016, this novel worked its way up to the #1 slot in Mashups in the US and in the UK before being republished on August 31, 2016.

Detective Alex Crossed ist die abscheulichste niedertrachtigen Schurken der Welt der Jagd, Boris Ballcrusher. Im Gegenzug ist Boris Ballcrusher Jagd Alex Crossed, die weltweit am inkompetent und politisch korrekt Detektiv multiracial Polizei, in dieser Parodie auf die Alex Cross Romane von James Patterson. Mit Hilfe eines Ninja, ein Zwerg, ein Google erstellte Android namens Ali Mode und eine monomaniacal Luftwaffe Allgemeinen muss verschrankt reisen Schloss Dracula, Agypten und Topeka in seinem Streben Ballcrusher von der Ubernahme der Welt zu stoppen.

Nicht weit von den grossten Verbrechen, Thriller gelobt und Comedy-Autoren unserer Zeit, dieser Roman ist dennoch eine umwerfende Geschichte fur James Patterson Fans geschaffen, die einen Sinn fur Humor haben, fur verargerte Fans von James Patterson, und fur diejenigen, die gerne sehr respektlos und politisch unkorrekten Humor.

Zunachst am 12. August veroffentlicht 2016, arbeitete dieser Roman seinen Weg bis zum # 1 Slot in Mashups in den USA und in Grossbritannien vor blockiert wird, fur nicht genannten Grunden, am 31. August 2016.

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A Very Foggy Christmas

I am Morten Astley Fogarty - insurance complaint handler, part-time barista and all-round entertainer. My career at the Perypils call centre has really taken off since my colleagues all voted for me to leave the team and transfer to complaints; I was chuffed to bits at being chosen! I love helping our customers resolve their concerns and as I've only received three death threats so far, I'm clearly doing something right. On Sundays, I work with an extremely talented Chef, Joe, who trained under the calming influence of Gordon Ramsay. Joe's party-trick is to hurl his bread knife through the kitchen hatch towards my head. He always deliberately misses, of course; we do have such fun! My girlfriend, Myra, is a wonderful actress and our director has tried her in lots of different positions. I know Myra is desperate to secure a leading part in our Christmas production, The Wizard of Oz and she has been scouring eBay for ruby slippers, size 9. Let's hope she can continue to satisfy the director!

Best Jokes 2014

One hundred of hilarious and funny jokes !

Have fun and laugh!

49 Excuses for Not Tidying Your Bedroom (The 49... Series Book 1)

Is your bedroom a tip?... Did you forget to tidy?... Can you hear the sound of parental footsteps getting closer and closer?... Here's 49 (extremely silly) excuses for not tidying your bedroom!

Join the comical adventure of these mischievous kids who will try absolutely anything to get away with not tidying their bedrooms. With an illustration for each haphazard attempt, you're guaranteed to laugh, smirk, and chuckle for hours.

Disclaimer: reading this eBook will probably make you giggle, but won't help you get away with having a messy bedroom.

Recommended Age: 10+

Angus Adams: the adventures of a free-range kid: Volume 1 (The Free-Range Kid Mysteries)

As a free range kid, Angus is allowed to do things other kids his age aren't - like play in the street and hang out at the park without adults (shock, horror!) But when he's accused of stealing an iPhone from school, Angus must use all of his brains, resilience, and courage to catch the real thief, clear his name, and outwit the seriously bad dudes hot on his tail!

Sooner or Later...You Will Get Caught

**SHORT STORY**TRUE STORY

Kids often do things they know they shouldn't do. And they all think they won't get caught. But this true story proves the adage - "It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but sooner or later....you WILL get caught"

This fun read begins with a young girl, and her budding career in parental note forgery. Thirty years later, it comes back to haunt her in the most amusing way -proving once and for all that what goes around, comes around! Perfect short read for those "waiting for the kids to get out of school/practice/dance/etc." moments.

Includes a bonus excerpt from Stranger Danger - How to Talk to Kids About Strangers.

poetry book: Einstein’s Cat: short book of funny, illustrated, original quick read poems (Get Your Wordsworth 1)

If Ogden Nash, Dr. Seuss and Friedrich Neitzsche got together to write a book of poetry for emerging adults, they'd probably be disappointed to find Tom Skinner had beaten them to the punch.

For children with inquisitive minds and a sense of adventure, this book of offbeat poetry blends creativity and entertaining turns of phrases to get readers aged 8-15 to think outside any boxes convention may impose.

Taking off on the works of the wild-haired Father of Physics, Einstein's Cat erases the equation from the blackboard and gives your children permission to think on their own. Yes, a clean slate!

This collection of poems will ignite your kids to reason on their own while developing unique views of life with its inconsistencies, diversity and immutable wonder.

Praise for Skinner's work:

'As a teacher, I know that kids and teens love ideas from left field, a play on words that makes them giggle, and stretches their creative language skills. Tom's book lifts poetry, puns and ideas from the ordinariness of life, to playful comments and musings...'

'I love Shel Silverstein books (who doesn't). But this book is something more, something different. The poems are full of voluptuous words and pleasurable word play that sit in your mouth like pieces of melting chocolate. Yes, they are that good.'

Some writers mistakenly talk down to young readers, while Tom speaks with his audience in a unique voice that is refreshing, encouraging, and adventurous.

So go ahead and read along with your kids and wrap your brains around such works as Einstein's Cat, Woks Happ'ning Bro? and Stop and Smell the (Grumpy) Roses.

Einstein's Cat is the first standalone book in the unconventional poetry-prose fusion collection, Get Your Wordsworth.

***For a limited time, you can get the latest book in the Get Your Wordsworth poetry collection, Overload, for free - click here to find out more > http://bit.do/TomsWordPlayRocks (just copy and paste into your browser)***

Interview with the AuthorQ - So, what makes the Get Your Wordsworth series special?

A - When I set out to write these books, I wanted to create a new type of poetry. A poetry-prose hybrid that was much less rigid, formal or technical than the traditional model and one that did not bore the buttocks off bright young people.

Overall, the Get Your Wordsworth series is designed for those, young and old alike, who appreciate the English language in all its nuanced, layered and textured glory and who can handle a judicious mix of the super silly and gently philosophical all imbued with a healthy dose of wry and dry humor!

Q - What order should I read the books in?

A - I've written the series so you can read the books in any order. If you do want to read them in the order they were written:

- Einstein's Cat

- Pavlov's Dog

- It's Slapstick

- Plain Crazy

- Too Much TV

- Tractor Gate

- Overload

Q - So, why should readers give these books a try?

A - Because the Get Your Wordsworth series is for mavericks and early adopters who are looking for urban, contemporary poetry prose with a twist for Generation Z who may not have the time, attention or inclination for more traditional poetry styles.

Ultimately, readers who think poetry is a tad tedious but who enjoy wit, whimsy, puns, satire and wordplay in a highly succinct, quick-read format, will get a kick out of this series.

Q - Can readers get the whole series in one go?

A - Sure. I've put together a box-set bundle if people want to save a little moolah and grab the first six books in one swoop. Check out my author page here at Amazon for more details, and a full list of my available titles.











151+ Yo Momma Jokes: The World's Funniest Yo Momma Joke Collection (Funny Yo Momma Jokes)

The Funniest Yo Momma Joke Book in the World!151+ funny yo momma jokesHilarious yo momma insults and humorHours of funny jokes and entertainmentLaugh until you cry at these funny yo momma jokesFrom the best-selling joke book series of the LOL Funny Jokes ClubWith this MASSIVE collection of funny yo momma jokes you can make everyone laugh! This book full of funny yo momma jokes is perfect for any occasion. You and your friends will laugh for hours at this funny joke book.All yo momma jokes are easy to find by each chapter!Yo momma is so fat...Yo momma is so skinny...Yo momma is so old...Yo momma is so short...Yo Momma is so tall...Yo momma is so poor...Yo momma is so stupid...Yo momma is so ugly...Yo momma is so hairy...Yo momma is so bald...Yo momma is so lazy...Other yo momma jokes...Did you know that laughing can have positive physical and mental effects on the body?Laughter can lower blood pressure, lighten tense situations, and help you bond with friends and family. Jokes, humor, and comedy come in many forms. Whether it is a few funny jokes, a silly joke book, or a funny movie, we can all benefit from the positive effects of comedy and humor! Share a funny joke with a friend today!Uses for funny jokes...Can aid in story-tellingGreat for conversation startersImproves conversation and social skillsCan make others laugh, smile, and be more playfulCan lighten tense moods and create rapport with othersAre you looking for funny and hilarious yo momma jokes?Yo momma is so fat... she walked in front of the TV and I missed 3 shows!LOLYo momma is so old... she knew Burger King while he was still a prince!HAHAYo momma is so short... she can use a sock for a sleeping bag!Funny Yo Momma Jokes!Yo momma is so tall... she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon!HAHAYo momma is so poor... she can't afford to pay attention!LOLYo momma is so stupid... she sold her car for gas money.Funny Yo Momma Jokes!Yo momma is so ugly... that she scares blind people!HAHAYo momma is s

Funny Stories for Kids: Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves: (Kid's Books, Books For Kids, Children, Fractured Fairy Tales, Parody Books, Free Teen Books, Fiction Books for Teens, Humorous Books)

What would the story of "Snow White" be like if the princess was an idiot, the evil queen was completely incompetent, and the dwarves, instead of being happy and silly, were instead super gross and mean? The answer: "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves," a comedy short story that is so awesome you'll have to read it to believe it. (Brought to you by the famed Dweezel and Pallie.)

"[A] funny and clever little book... I like this version even better than the original story."

Chytach18, Reviewer for OnlineBookClub.org

"An amazing story, and hilariously funny to boot, perfect for kids and adults alike!"

Angela, Amazon UK reader

"It made me laugh. Grossed me out. Then makes you laugh some more."

Thelma Coots, Amazon reader

"One word : FUNNY! A new way of reading Snow White"

Isienie V., Amazon reader

*****

Take your expectations for a fairy tale and throw them out the window! A noble prince? Lame. A humble princess? What a loser! A happy ending? You wish. This eBook is way better than all that. It will make you giggle, laugh, and ask for more. Either that, or it will make you scream for it all to stop. The only way to know is to read it. Download "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" now!

The Funny Stories for Kids series, written/recorded by Dr. Dexter Dweezel and Professor Parnassus Pallie, is an ongoing effort to make fairy tales less crappy. "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" is the first in this series, with more to come.

**Note: This story is not for babies. It can be crude, and has jokes about butts, poo, and drunk people. It also has a bit of cartoony violence. There is no swearing or sexual activity. If this story had a MPGG rating it would probably be PG, and would be comparable to a modern episode of the Simpsons.**

101 Dirty Jokes - sexual and adult's jokes

Sex and humor. 101 hilarious and dirty jokes for adults.

134.2 QI Facts to Leave You Flabbergasted: Free EBook Sampler

'This may look like a free ebook sampler, but it's actually a portal. While you may read this in just twenty minutes, each little nugget is only the visible tip of an information iceberg.'

In this free ebook sampler to accompany the new book 1,342 QI Facts To Leave You Flabbergasted, come face-to-face with some of the most mind-blowing facts in the QI universe, such as: The sun gets 4 million tons lighter every second; The first scientifically named dinosaur bone was called Scrotum humanum because it looked like a giant pair of human testicles; A 'batman' was a unit of weight in the Ottoman Empire. Ben Affleck weighs about nine batmans; Making all the chain mail for The Lord of the Rings wore the costume designers' fingerprints away.

Enjoy the incredible world of QI facts.

FAMILY GUY: 100+ Funny Jokes & Memes (Family guy parody book) + BIG FAT BONUS INSIDE

HELLO THERE!

It's FAMILY GUY time!

Number one FAMILY GUY book, that actually makes fun of FAMILY GUY itself!

100+ Funny FAMILY GUY Jokes and Memes will keep you happy for days to come!

Punny Fanda approved.

+ BIG FAT BONUS INSIDE

Every Anime lover should have some basic knowledge about FAMILY GUY - why not acquire it in a humorous way?.

I encourage you to take a leap of faith and download

this great and funny comedy book, which You wont regret!

YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT PLACE!

In this FAMILY GUY book you will find great PICTURES with funny memes, hilarious jokes and wise quotes all in one place.

This book will make you laugh and also leave you with some cool quotes and info!

Quit reading this boring description and click that download button!

Tags: FAMILY GUY memes, FAMILY GUY manga, FAMILY GUY comics, FAMILY GUY jokes, FAMILY GUY vol 57, FAMILY GUY vol 1, minecraft jokes, minecraft memes, simpsons books, simpsons comics

Love Finds You: The Helena's Grove Series Book 1

Note: This book was previously published under "Love Is Thicker Than Blood" by Ivy Alexander. New content has been added including an extended ending, with twists and turns you'll be sure to love!

Sweet romance with a twist!

Jennifer Berkley is a straightforward, ambitious, soon-to-be lawyer in the fast, driven city of New York. She doesn't have the patience or time to deal with people who can't or won't give her what she wants. When her father asks her to visit her aunt in Ohio as her last dying wish, Jen is immediately resistant, but reconsiders when her father makes her an offer she can't refuse.

Jen finds Ohio a much different pace than New York, and is beginning to enjoy country life when she meets Zack LaFaye, a good-looking, helpful man who is adored by her aunt. Each encounter with him leaves Jen flustered and annoyed. The question is glaring: does she have feelings for him, or does she hate him so much that she can't decide?

Amidst a country backdrop, Jen discovers feelings and experiences no city girl is prepared for. As the summer unfolds, she finds herself questioning everything. Using her skill and training as a lawyer, Jen uncovers a trail of deceit she didn't see coming. With a vengeance, she is determined to find out the truth. Someone is lying to her, but who?

Love Finds You is a clean romance novel full of charming intrigue, with twists, turns, love, romance and drama that will leave you breathless as Jen must decipher her feelings, and the truth.



Helena's Grove Series ebook Categories

- free romance books for kindle fire

- free romance series set

- free clean romance kindle books

- free sweet romance books

- free romantic comedy books

- free inspirational romance

- free romantic books

Bad Choices Make Good Stories: Going to New York (How The Great American Opioid Epidemic of The 21st Century Began)

"Bad Choices Make Good Stories" is a darkly funny coming-of-age novel based on true events. Oliver, a teenage hacker living in Germany, meets Donna online. She's an American girl living in New York. After chatting and talking on the phone for months, he finally decides to surprise her with a visit. But he soon finds out that things are not what they appeared to be, and that this visit will change his life forever.

"The most engaging memoir I've ever read."

????? (5/5)

-Caitlin Lyle Farley, Readers' Favorite

"One whirlwind adventure after another. I was enthralled."

???? (4/4)

-Christina Rose, Online Book Club

"This generation's version of Catcher in the Rye. I kid you not. It's that good."

????? (5/5)

-Ray Simmons, Readers' Favorite

"An important book. Don't miss it!"

????? (5/5)

-James Okun, Bookplex

Bite No.1: The Old Man at the End of the World: A Zombie Apocalypse Parody

THE GOOD LIFE meets DOUGLAS ADAMS meets SHAUN OF THE DEAD! - Dave F, Amazon

Gerald Stockwell-Poulter couldn't help but feel it was extraordinary just how quickly his life had changed. One moment he was earthing up leeks in the West Sussex sunshine and the next he was rooted to the spot as Rodney Timmins from the end allotment ambled towards him, arms outstretched, blood pouring from a hole in his neck and a look in his eye which suggested that he was less after help and more after a helping of Gerald.

Now, as Gerald's life takes a quick turn for the worse, he must do things he has never done before. After 87 largely well-behaved years as a model citizen, less than four hours into the 'zompocalypse' and he has already killed a neighbour, rescued a moody millennial drug dealer and forged an unlikely allegiance with a giant ginger Scotsman. And it isn't even tea time.

Join Gerald as he and his newfound allies navigate the post-apocalyptic English countryside in their hilarious bid to stay off the menu.

The first instalment of the Old Man at the End of the World Series. A novella of 20,000 words.

For fans of Frank Tayell (Surviving the Evacuation), Mark Tufo (Zombie Fallout), Diana Rowland (White Trash Zombie) and also Jonas Jonasson (The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared) , Fredrik Backman (A Man Called Ove) and Catharina Ingelman-Sundberg (The Little Old Lady Who Broke All the Rules).

A Lonely Dog on Christmas

Christmas Day is fast approaching. For Beckham, the family bulldog, it means just another year of being ignored while chaos and mayhem reign throughout the house. In this holiday short story full of laughter and family dysfunction, Beckham narrates an ill-conceived plan to create an unforgettable landmark moment in order to reclaim the spotlight as the center of attention. As the extended family gathers to make merry and observe their annual tradition, Beckham has another idea in mind to celebrate and make it a day to remember.

A Lonely Dog on Christmas is not intended for children and contains language unsuitable for young readers.

Free Story "The Girl Who Wanted to be a Princess" from Newfangled Fairy Tales

Michelle Koszlowski desparately wantes to be a princess until her wish comes true and she discovers what a pain royal life can be.

The full collection of ten contemporary fairy tales is the second in the critically acclaimed series--puts a delightful new spin on classic stories and themes. Michelle Koszlowski desparately wantes to be a princess until her wish comes true and she discovers what a pain royal life can be. The Little Tailor brags to everyone about his bravery until a giant comes along and teaches him a lesson. Rapunzel is held captive in a high-rise apartment by an urban witch who owns a pizza parlor. A postmodern wolf refuses to eat the bratty Little Red Riding Hood and her sickly grandmother. Hansel is so obsessed with candy that he steals Gretel's piggy bank and runs off to the Old Witch's Candy Factory.

Love Story: A Romantic Comedy Standalone: ((Romantic Comedy Women's Fiction  Teen & Young Adult) Book 1)

"COLLECTION II

: Karen wants to get married but Jerry, her boyfriend of six years, doesn't seem to be interested in proposing any time soon. He seems to have grown so used to her that he no longer has any desire to take the relationship to the next level. Karen is determined to get him to react and so she tries to give him multiple hints but he doesn't understand any of them. Most of her hints are hilarious and ridiculous and instead of wanting to marry her, they cause Jerry to wonder whether he's making a mistake with the relationship. Karen grows increasingly more frustrated as she keeps expecting him to propose, but instead they drift apart until their relationship seems to be on the verge of a break up. Karen's best friend happens to be the one offering the worst advice and just complicating everything with her old-fashioned ideas and beliefs."

Hot Shots FC

This is the first book in the 'stupidly funny' football series, Hot Shots FC. It is for children aimed 6-12 who like football, or being silly, or laughing out loud again and again!

It follows the fortunes of Hat Trick Boy, who is selected to join local side Hammers FC. But there is a problem: his friends aren't picked. So Hat Trick Boy has to choose between his friends and his football, and he makes a mistake. He deserts his friends and decides to join the rather rough Hammers FC. But he doesn't know his friends are about to set up the greatest junior football club ever, Hot Shots FC...

Dating an Alien Pop Star

Daisy Kirkwood has only just escaped her small-town life and run away to New York City, the land of last-minute secret gigs at famous musical venues, when she's kidnapped by aliens. Unfortunately, no one ever writes about how to handle alien abduction in those fancy NYC guidebooks. Griffin and Dev are supermassively sexy aliens from a politically and environmentally troubled planet who arrive on Earth with very little knowledge about human ways other than what they learned from a wayward "E! News" signal. Their mission is to pretend to be the most influential people on the planet English pop stars, of course! and gain the help of a powerful secret society. Upon arriving, they abduct Daisy Kirkwood, a nerdy young woman who loves music but could seriously use a bit of help in the love-life department. Though Griffin and Daisy initially squabble, neither can deny the intergalactic sparks whenever they're too close to each other. Together, they must face murderous aliens, cultural misunderstandings, bad backup musicians, and the dark side of fame and the media, all set against a tight deadline Part "High Fidelity," part "Bridget Jones' Diary," part "Doctor Who," "Dating an Alien Pop Star" is a sexy romantic comedy."

MEMES: Ultimate Memes & Jokes 2017 – Memes Galore - Funniest Memes on the Planet : Funny Memes 2017, Dank Memes, Memes For Kids, Memes Free, Memes xl, Pikachu Books, Roasts

THOUSANDS of fresh and hilarious memes from 2017

2 FREE BONUS BOOKS INCLUDED!

Download for FREE using Kindle Unlimited

Dank. Fresh. Hilarious.

This book contains over 3000 pages of memes! I've gathered here the best memes on the internet for you to easily browse in one place.

Since we love laughing at funny memes and pictures, we decided to create a series of books showcasing hilarious memes we find throughout the day from all over the internet. We've even found some memes in that old crusty sock you keep under your bed...

Book is not appropriate for young kids. May have adult language or adult themes. Reader discretion is advised

HAVE FUN! And let us know what you liked and where we can improve by leaving a review!

Confessions of a Queen B*: Volume 1 (The Queen B*)

Alexis Wyndham is the other type of Queen B-the Queen B*tch. After years of being the subject of ridicule, she revels in her ability to make the in-crowd cower via the exposes on her blog, The Eastline Spy. Now that she's carved out her place in the high school hierarchy, she uses her position to help the unpopular kids walking the hallways. Saving a freshman from bullies? Check. Swapping insults with the head cheerleader? Check. Falling for the star quarterback? So not a part of her plan. But when Brett offers to help her solve the mystery of who's posting X-rated videos from the girls' locker room, she'll have to swallow her pride and learn to see past the high school stereotypes she's never questioned-until now."

A to Z of Silly Animals - The Best Selling Illustrated Children's Book for All Ages by Sprogling (The Silly Animals Series 1)

A wonderfully silly A to Z picture book of ridiculous mythical animals.

The charming, original illustrations and witty captions are sure to delight children of all ages as well as parents.

Enjoy the A to Z of Silly Animals with your child today!

Max's Revenge: A wedding, a party and a plate of dog food stew: Volume 1 (The Max Books)

Max is out for revenge. In The Wedding, Max gets dumped from being the pageboy at his uncle's wedding. A five year old takes his place. Max isn't happy and he knows who is to blame. His evil aunt. Max wants revenge. Not just any revenge; but clever, satisfying revenge. Will he get his chance before the wedding is over? In Dog Food Stew, Max uncovers his aunt's evil plan to sell his nanna's house. But Max has a plan of his own. Will he stop his nanna's house from being sold and get revenge on his evil aunt? Revenge can be sweet, but it can also leave a funny taste. Book Categories: Adventure books for kids 9-12 Action books for kids 9-12 Series books for kids age 9-12 Children's adventure books age 9-12 Please scroll up and click the Look Inside feature on the top left hand side of the page.

OVERLY MANLY MAN: 100+ Funny Overly Manly Jokes - Hilarious Manly Truths Evey Man Should Know + BIGS FAT BONUS INSIDE

HELLO THERE!

It's OVERLY MAN MAN time!

Number one OVERLY MAN MAN book, that actually makes fun of OVERLY MAN MAN itself!

OVERLY MAN MAN: 100+ Funny Overly Manly Jokes - Hilarious Manly Truths Evey Man Should Know + BIGS FAT BONUS INSIDE

Punny Fanda approved.

+ BIG FAT BONUS INSIDE

Every Anime lover should have some basic knowledge about OVERLY MAN MAN - why not acquire it in a humorous way?.

I encourage you to take a leap of faith and download

this great and funny comedy book, which You wont regret!

YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT PLACE!

In this OVERLY MAN MAN book you will find great PICTURES with funny memes, hilarious jokes and wise quotes all in one place.

This book will make you laugh and also leave you with some cool quotes and info!

Quit reading this boring description and click that download button!

Tags: OVERLY MAN MAN memes, OVERLY MAN MAN manga, OVERLY MAN MAN comics, OVERLY MAN MAN jokes, OVERLY MAN MAN vol 57, OVERLY MAN MAN vol 1, minecraft jokes, minecraft memes, simpsons books, simpsons

Funny Stories for Kids: Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner: Star Wars Parody, Kid's Books, Books For Kids, Children, Sci-fi, Parody Books, Teen Books, Fiction Books for Teens, Humorous Books)

In a galaxy ravaged by tyranny, planets are destroyed at the push of a button and empires are brought down by farm boys and scoundrels. Dark Zader was one of the most powerful men in the galaxy, but when he threw his emperor down a shaft, he found himself without a job.

Living with his kids and down on his luck, he finds that he only has one solution, beg for his old job back from the very emperor he thought he'd killed.

Read as this family of rebel scum scrambles to prepare a dinner fit for an emperor in the most ridiculous culinary experience ever.

Double the excitement.

Triple the laughs.

Paintbrush illustrations.

This is...

Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner

Revolting Rhymers: Competition Winners

The Winning Entries of the most REVOLTING Poetry Competition!



To celebrate the BBC's new two-part animation of Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes, the Roald Dahl Literary Estate launched a poetry competition with a twist, asking chiddlers far and wide to submit their most revolting - and humorous rhymes. We were inundated with thousands of disgusterous entries! To discover our winners, we waded through burps, farts and rotten eggs; bogies, vile stew and goo to find the funniest and most revolting specimens. This eBook contains the creme de la phlegm-hand picked by children's author, songwriter and McFly frontman, Tom Fletcher, and Wales's Children's Poet Laureate, Anni Llyn.

A huge thank you to our revolting partners Puffin Books, the National Literacy Trust, Literature Wales, Magic Light, and the Roald Dahl Museum and Story Centre for all their help and support!

Free Story "Little Bad Wolf and Red Riding Hood" from Newfangled Fairy Tales

The Big Bad Wolf is running a successful scam on Little Red's Grandma until Little Red catches him in the act.

In this free short story Big Bad Wolf is running a successful scam on Little Red's Grandma until Little Red catches him in the act.



If you like this sample story, look for The Newfangled Fairy Tales series. Each fairy tale in the series puts a delightful new spin on classic stories and themes. King Midas is a workaholic banker who would rather play with his money than attend his son's Little League baseball games. The Three Bears invade Goldy's house because their forest home is being stripped to build a super highway. A Prince refuses to marry any of the grumpy princesses who lost sleep because there were peas under their mattresses. A clever princess pays a dragon to lose a fight so she can marry the man she loves. The twenty short stories in this series are lots of fun.

"Here is a new generation of fairy tales to make children laugh, not hide under the covers."

--Stephen Mooser, author of Young Marion's Adventures in Sherwood Forrest: A Girl's to the Rescue Novel

Indian Non Veg Jokes

These jokes are collected from various sources. They are only for adults.

Senseless Attraction

Warning; Don't puke in your boss's helmet!: The third great collection of nonsense cartoons by Ollie Zurek

Another volume of weird and wonderful illustrated jokes by the talented cartoonist Ollie Zurek. Can elephants fly? Several new approaches to dieting! Alien tourists, finding Lego and much, much more can be found in the pages of this book. Be aware that the humour is sick, strange and clever but above all funny! Grab some laughs.

MEMES: Ultimate Memes & Jokes 2017 – SMILEFEST – Funniest Memes on the Planet: Funny Memes 2017, Dank Memes, Memes For Kids, Memes Free, Memes xl, Pikachu Books, Roasts

NEW MEMES IN EVERY BOOK! Fresh and hilarious memes from 2017

FREE BONUS BOOKS INSIDE!

Download for FREE using Kindle Unlimited

Dank. Fresh. Hilarious.

This book contains over 3000 pages of memes! I've gathered here the best memes on the internet for you to easily browse in one place.

Since we love laughing at funny memes and pictures, we decided to create a series of books showcasing hilarious memes we find throughout the day from all over the internet. We've even found some memes in that old crusty sock you keep under your bed...

Book is not appropriate for young kids. May have adult language or adult themes. Reader discretion is advised

HAVE FUN! And let us know what you liked and where we can improve by leaving a review!

memes n memes n memes n memes ....

Two Legs, Three Legs, Four Legs: More Rescue Dog Stories With Duncan the Canine Tripod and his Friends Seamus, Shannon and Minnie (The Long, The Short and The Tall Book 2)

Meet the "Gang of Four", Seamus, Shannon, Minnie and Duncan the Canine Tripod.

All Rescue Dogs, they became firm friends over the years. Their story was told in Book One. "The Long, The Short and The Tall. Life with Rescue Dogs."

Now the Gang rides again! Read some more of their stories: happy stories, scary stories, but always true stories. Enjoy a walk out with them over Pendle Hill. Learn how Duncan almost lost another leg!

Whether you laugh or cry, this book will move you. Whether you laugh or cry, this book will move you.

The Way of Love: Romantic Comedy: The Way of Love A Sexy, Funny Mystery (#One Like a Lady Series #Romantic Comedy Collection / Series Book 1)

"Collection I ) ""Katie and Bruce are a normal, young professional couple. Like everybody else their age, they seem to be happy and vibrant with a promising future as far as everyone can see. However, they hide a dark secret that is threatening to explode at any moment: they are dead broke and in a constant struggle to make ends meet. They try hard to impress their friends and to keep them from finding out about their real financial situation, but it's a battle.

As they struggle to put food on the table and to pay their mounting bills, they become involved in a number of slightly illegal and completely ridiculous situations. From shoplifting to searching in bins, Katie and Bruce will stop at nothing to keep up with appearances. It's amazing how far they are willing to go just to make sure that others continue to believe that they are rich.""

I Married A Sex Maniac (Adam's Sons Book 9)

These witty tales reveal the instinctive sexual appetites of every woman of God from around the world. Even though a bride is totally innocent of sin and vice, what would she do to gratify her inborn desires? What does every married woman crave from her red-blooded husband?

Each wife must face her fears of lust in order to live a more abundant life. Times of doubt and torment break through to many days of playful pleasures and delicious desires. Only then will she know how to be sexually fulfilled in her spirit, soul, and body.

The horny heroines of these whimsical testimonies are like all of the comically ignorant females in the Christian denominations. Yet, the boundless love of the Lord works through each girl maniac. His love is the power that brings purpose and peace into her life and marriage.

Contaminated Samples

A free sampler containing the outrageous first chapters from Frankie's three books My Shit Life So Far, Work! Consume! Die! and Scotland's Jesus. Perfect for when you want to feel deeply offended.

MY SHIT LIFE SO FAR: 'I don't think anyone can have written an autobiography without at some point thinking "Why would anyone want to know this shit?" I've always read them thinking "I don't want to know where Steve Tyler grew up, just tell me how many groupies he f**ked!"'

So begins Frankie's outrageous, laugh-out loud, cynical rant on life as he knows it.

WORK! CONSUME DIE!: Stand-up comedy's favourite pessimist, Frankie Boyle, offers his laugh-out-loud, cynical rant on life as he knows it. He describes your reality as viewed through a bloodshot eye pressed against a shit-smeared telescope, focused on hell.

SCOTLAND'S JESUS: Reading Scotland's Jesus should be like being called into the living room by your child shouting that they see a little red dot on the head of a TV newscaster, then riding the white hot bullet through the propaganda circuitry of his or her exploding brain.

Free Funny the eBook: Writing Comedy, Jokes, and Humor for Business, Public Speaking, or Just for Laughs

Do funny people have an advantage in business?

Yes. But only if you know what you're doing. Research has shown the ability to make others laugh builds better business relationships. Humor can put the nervous at ease, make an important point, and create an overall more enjoyable workplace. But only if you know what you're doing.

Have you ever wondered how humor works?

Free Funny the eBook offers an easy to follow explanation of Comic Structure. It goes into the process of how the human mind creates false expectations, and then how it can be surprised by the unexpected. Understanding how humor works is the first step to knowing what you're doing.

Have you ever wanted to write the funny at will?

This ebook applies Comic Structure to a step by step comedy writing system the Humor Generator. With this process anyone, even you, can learn to write the funny at will. All you have to do is follow the logical path of creating a false expectation and then revealing a surprise.

Free Funny the ebook gives you the tools to be appropriately humorous at work, in relationships, and life because you'll know what you're doing.

The Haunted Dollhouse (The Ghost Store)

Lottie Landers is 15 years old. She can see ghosts and she helps them with any unfinished business.

In this first story, Lottie's dad brings a dollhouse into the family store. A ghost is attached to it. It doesn't take Lottie long to connect with the ghost, but when she does, her heart fills with sadness.

This is going to be a difficult case for Lottie, but she is determined to help the ghost.

Charlie The Pissed Off Mutt

Charlie is a dog who suffers from anger issues. Trying to impress his owner, his number one goal in life is to become a house dog. Things are looking good until Jasper the stray dog shows up uninvited. Pissed off, Charlie has to come up with a plan to get rid of Jasper once and for all.

Part 2 is Available Now at This Link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XO8OXTO

Unconventional Fitness Tips: 30 of the Funniest, Smartest, Most Unforgettable Fitness Tips to Burn Fat, Build Muscle, and Get Lean



Here's My Collection of the Best (and Most Hilarious)Fitness Tips and Quotes from the Top Trainers and Strength Coaches in the World

This is a collection of my favorite fitness quotes. I searched for the funniest, most inspirational, most motivational fitness tips out there.

This isn't a list of rehashed, corny, "seen a million times on Facebook" health and fitness quotes. These are quotes of wisdom, insight, and humor.

Arnold Schwarzenegger. Ronnie Coleman. Elliott Hulse. Nate Miyaki. Jim Wendler. Mark Rippetoe. Muhammad Ali. Steve Reeves. Tony Gentilecore. Jason Ferruggia. Bret Contreras. Tony Gentilecore. Eric Cressey. Alan Aragon.

When these guys speak, I listen. And so should you.

They represent some of the best strength, fitness, nutrition, and physique coaches in the world. They are all incredibly accomplished with decades of training and coaching under their belts.

So I scoured the internet, looking for the best, most inspirational, most funny, and most insightful fitness tips I could find and divided them between diet advice and exercise advice.

---->Download this free book now and get ready to laugh (and use these tips to get ripped)



P.S.

***And while you're at it - please don't forget to leave a review***

Quinceys Quirky Quiz Books Photo Dingbats Volume One: Photo Puzzles Volume 1

If you like to watch Catchphrase, then take a look at this book of Photo Dingbats that I have created.

These puzzles are known by various names such as Rebuses, Pictograms and Dingbats. They consist of a picture that represents a well known saying or word or phrase.

Keep your brain active with this volume of fifty puzzles.

Angry Granny (Angry Granny Adventures Book 1)

Hilarious adventures abound as Granny comes to live with her grandson and his parents. It is rarely an easy transition when aging parents and grandparents find they need to live with their children, and Angry Granny is no exception. But, on top of Granny's declining memory, she has lost her filter. So, be prepared because even though her grandson isn't used to hearing curse words Angry Granny is about to change that as she regularly let's the a-word fly. It's cute. It's funny. And, it's touching as the experience of having Angry Granny in the house will take you from laughing to saying "oh my" and right back to giggling again.

Rob Alex and Boegley Alex co-wrote Angry Granny, but it all started when Daddy (Rob) started telling Angry Granny bedtime stories to Boegley. The laughter and giggles that poured forth from the bedroom could be heard all the way downstairs. After a few weeks and a long list of Angry Granny adventures, this father-son duo decided to share their knee slapping and sometimes shocking stories with the world. Get ready because these two will take you on quite a journey alongside Angry Granny, and they just may share more of Granny's adventures as time goes by.

The 90 day Challenge: Romantic Comedy: The Way of Love A Sexy, Funny Mystery ((Romantic Books, Romance Novels, Contemporary Romance Books, Romance Books, ... Contemporary Romantic Comedy, F Book 1)

Karen wants to get married but Jerry, her boyfriend of six years, doesn't seem to be interested in proposing any time soon. He seems to have grown so used to her that he no longer has any desire to take the relationship to the next level. Karen is determined to get him to react and so she tries to give him multiple hints but he doesn't understand any of them. Most of her hints are hilarious and ridiculous and instead of wanting to marry her, they cause Jerry to wonder whether he's making a mistake with the relationship. Karen grows increasingly more frustrated as she keeps expecting him to propose, but instead they drift apart until their relationship seems to be on the verge of a break up. Karen's best friend happens to be the one offering the worst advice and just complicating everything with her old-fashioned ideas and beliefs.

Football Dad

Football Dads are everywhere ... and not just in football. They're the parent who volunteers to help with their kids' sports team - or who are left with the job when other parents go missing.

This well-crafted volume of amusing columns comes from a father who has spent many hours travelling to and from games, tirelessly helping his kids as they take up The Beautiful Game.

Through Football Dad you'll meet the oddballs he meets on the sidelines and in the clubrooms. Many a parent will recognise these characters ... and smile.

Football Dad's collection of stories were originally published in the award-winning football magazine The Range, published by WaiBOP Football in New Zealand. They have also appeared in FANZ, the official magazine of Friends of Football.

Snake Jokes for Kids: Animal Jokes and Riddles for Kids (With Illustrations)

***UPDATED: AUGUST 2017 with PICTURES***

Are you ready for the best Snake Jokes and Riddles for Kids?

Below are sample jokes that you will find inside the book. Take a sneak peak:



Q: What is snake's favorite subject?

A: Hiss-tory

Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?

A: A pie-thon

Q: What is a snake's favorite dance?

A: The mamba

Q: What do you give a sick snake?

A: Asp-irin

Q: Why couldn't the snake talk?

A: It had a frog in his throat.

You'll find more of them when you buy the book.

***Read it FREE With Kindle Unlimited or Prime Membership***

Don't have kindle? No worries! Read it on your PC, Mac, Tablet or Smartphone!

Download your copy NOW (click BUY NOW WITH 1-CLICK) or READ it FREE with Kindle Unlimited or Prime Membership.





TAGS:

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Ho-Ho-Ho Best Christmas Memes

This hilarious bundle of the best Christmas memes will definitely entertain you! 2016 will be over soon and let's say "Hello" to 2017 while laughing! Please, pay attention, most of the jokes and memes included into this book are not for kids, but for adults only.

I really hope you will love these funny and nice memes.

The book includes memes about Santa Claus, Christmas tree, snowmen, elves, reindeers, cats, dogs, and much more. Please check this book as soon as possible, and I hope you will laugh out loud!

You may download this book for FREE using Kindle Unlimited. Enjoy! And MERRY CHRISMAS!

Bex Carter 1: Aunt Jeanie's Revenge (The Bex Carter Series)

Thirteen-year-old Bex Carter has a lot on her plate. Her biggest challenge is living with her Aunt Jeanie. As much as Bex tries to please her aunt, they always seem to butt heads. Sometimes Bex feels as if Aunt Jeanie goes out of her way to make her life miserable. Aunt Jeanie enrolls Bex in a social group called the Silver Roses, a group that's supposed to teach young girls how to be proper ladies. It turns out to be nothing more than a club for snobs. Bex wants out, but she's made a deal with Aunt Jeanie. Will Bex take a stand against the Silver Roses or will their snobbery rub off on her? Grades 5-8

Dinosaur Jokes for Kids: Animal Jokes and Riddles for Kids

Are you ready for the best Dinosaur Jokes and Riddles for Kids?

Below are sample jokes that you will find inside the book. Take a sneak peak:



Q: What does a triceratops sit on?

A: Its tricera-bottoms

Q: What do you call a snoring dinosaur?

A: A dino-snore

Q: Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun?

A: At the dino-shore

Q: What do you call it when a dinosaur makes a goal with a soccer ball?

A: A dino-score

Q: What do you call a tyrannosaurus that talks and talks and talks?

A: A dinobore

You'll find more of them when you buy the book. It is FREE for a LIMITED TIME ONLY!

Don't have kindle? No worries! Read it on your PC, Mac, Tablet or Smartphone!

Download your copy NOW!





TAGS:

animal jokes, kids book, childrens book, kid's book, children's book, puzzles, activity book, riddle book, brain teasers,kid's books, best jokes, best jokes and riddles, family riddles, family riddles for kids, clean jokes for kids, funny jokes, ultimate memes, tongue twister, knock knock jokes, big book of jokes, giant book of jokes, silly jokes, dino jokes, dinosaur jokes

Ward of the Flies: A Child Counselor's F*ck-My-Life True Story

Clint Looney baby-sits the insane.

To land his dream job in gifted education, Clint needs experience. He takes the only position available: counselor at a summer camp for disturbed children. But school never taught him to handle real-world crazy.

To get the job recommendations they need, Clint and his co-workers must wow their A-hole boss. Only the swarming, psychotic, merciless kids stand in their way.

From the hick towns of upstate New York to the rampant, muggy forests of the Hudson River Valley, Clint and company match wits with America's worst young minds. Watch as they scale the treetops, dodge flying poo and chase naked, howling teens through the forest. They wanted a resume builder. They got a marathon of madness. Will they go on to bigger, better lives, or work at camp forever? Can Clint escape the Ward of the Flies?

Hettford Witch Hunt: Series One

"With subtle humor and a charming regional voice, James Rhodes cleverly crafts a story of vengeance, mystery and witchcraft. Deftly weaving the ordinary and supernatural Rhodes leads readers along a path strewn with dreary workaday details offset by exciting glimpses of an otherworld that threatens to destroy the safety of the mundane."

-Kirsten Imani Kasai, Author: Ice Song, Tattoo, Del Rey Books

Gary Turlough is falling deeper into his post-graduate slump as each day goes by. He is in a dead-end job with no prospects and, following a slight indiscretion with a local goth, his girlfriend is one more mistake away from heading back to New Zealand. Life in the small village of Hettford would be tough enough without the spirits of two 18th Century witches plotting to kill his only two friends.

Milton and Dan are the real ale drinking hill-walkers of witch hunting: Nobody may believe them, nobody may reward them and they might not ever accomplish very much but nonetheless they remain devoted to their cause. With a slick sitcom format this novel is a must have for fans of paranormal comedy.

SERIES TWO: Available now!

They Win. You Lose.: Sex, Violence & Songs from the Shows (The Implosion Saga (Book 1))

They Win. You Lose. By Stan Arnold

Sex, Violence and Songs from the Shows.

They Win. You Lose. is the first book of The Implosion Saga. It's a very funny thriller. Mick and Jim are two incompetent, Soho-based, corporate video producers. They drink too much and don't earn enough.

So when the Mafia come calling, demanding back rent of ?6,000, they have ten minutes to do a runner. All they have is an old Morris Traveller (a Woodie, if you're in the US) and a tank full of petrol.

Their sudden flight takes them to the sex trade in Southsea, out-of-body experiences, horrendous amateur dramatics, Death Metal pubs, foul-mouthed, 80-year-old punk grannies and hit men dressed in pink Mexican outfits.

Under constant threat from enforcers, they get offered a mystery job in Las Vegas. When they arrive, six Reservoir Dogs' lookalikes are waiting for them. They make their escape using the world's most mercenary taxi driver.

During the next 24 hours, they chicken out a freight train, walk six moonlit miles across the desert with cactus-punctured groins, find out what badly manufactured LSD can do to you, avoid Thelma and Louise suicide-a-likes, have sex with Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper, make a commitment in front of a Bourbon-fuelled Elvis at Big Derek's Gay Marriage Emporium and blow up a Harley Davidson. The final showdown takes place with the mafia boss in the world's most unspeakably lurid theatrical environment. A very neat twist propels them from sudden death into a totally different way of life.

Or does it?

Managing Millie

None of it should have happened.

Senator Millicent Hodge wanted Starbucks but refused to leave the SUV. Her security detail left the SUV running to minimize the heat in Texas. Sam and Emma, who dreamed of being Uber drivers but had a car that quit working, were only behind the Starbucks to do a little dumpster diving when they saw the empty SUV.

What's a potential Uber driver to do when presented with an SUV that's ready to ride? Well, Sam and Emma call it a blessing and start driving.

To make matters worse, Senator Hodge only came to Texas to strike a secret deal with big oil to fund her Presidential campaign. Sam and Emma now have the Senator and her papers and knowledge of a sweet yet slightly illegal deal that includes the sale of a National Park.

So begins a slow chase across Texas to either save or ruin the Senator. Will Emma and Sam cross into Mexico and expose the Senator's secret deal? Will the President send in the troops? Will Senator Hodge break down and drink a slushie? All these questions and more.....

Hug (the Pug)

Hug (the Pug) tells the tale of a cute little pug who is on a quest for friendship, however, will his bladder problem prevent him from making friends?

100+ Knock Knock Jokes: Funny Knock Knock Jokes for Kids (Funny Jokes for Kids)

Best-Selling Joke Book for Kids!Are you looking for a fun book to keep the kids entertained and happy? This funny joke book for kids is excellent for early and beginning readers. Laughing and jokes have been proven to have positive mental and physical effects on the body!This books is especially great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home.100+ knock knock funny jokesExcellent for early and beginner readersHours of fun and entertainment for kids and childrenGreat for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloudFunny and hilarious knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults.From this Funny Joke Book...Knock knock!Who's there?Bless!Bless who?I didn't sneeze!LOL!Knock knock!Who's there?Auntie!Auntie who?Auntie glad to see me again!HAHA!Knock knock!Who's there?Zeke!Zeke who?Zeke and ye shall find!LOL!Knock knock!Who's there?Arnie!Arnie who!Arnie having fun?HAHA!Knock knock!Who's there?Carl!Carl who?Carl get you there faster than walking will!Best-Selling Author Johnny B. LaughingThe Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy and MASSIVE assortment of knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This awesome joke book for kids is easy to read and full of laughs!WARNING: This funny joke book will cause you to laugh hysterically!Scroll up and click 'buy' to start laughing today!Tags: funny knock knock jokes for kids, funny joke, funny jokes, lol, jokes, food, joke book, knock knock book, ebook, books, funny, knock knock jokes, ebooks, funny jokes, kids, haha, hilarious, children, joke, kid, funny jokes for children, kids books, childrens books, childrens book, kids book, kids books, funny knock knock jokes, joke book, food book, joke books, hilarious, lol, laughing, laughter, knock knock, funny jokes, funny joke book, book for kids, kindle book, kindle ebook, joke, jokes, jokes for kids, jokes for children, knock knock jokes, knock knock jokes for kids, funny jokes, jo

Cover Your Ass: Foolproof Excuses for Any Occasion

We all get into trouble. We are late. We got caught speeding. We didn't get our homework in on time. Now here is the book that gives you foolproof funny excuses for almost any situation.

Complete with illustrations and scenarios, Cover Your Ass gives you the foolproof excuses to cover your butt. Examples of chapters include:

o Why I Won't Have Sex With You

o Why I Can't Come to Work

o Why I Can't Go to the Gym

o Why I Sent You a Drunk Text

o Why I Went Off My Diet

Using the humorous excuses in this book can bail you out of difficult situations. So there is no excuse for failing to buy this book!

The author is the recipient of the Noble Prize in Literature, the recipient of the Pulitzer Prize, and a New York Times Bestselling author. Of course, none of that is remotely true, but he has a good excuse for making that up. Read the book for the answer!

Risking it All: The Rosewoods - A Short Story

Things are not going well for Brady Fleming, Rosewood equestrian coach and Olympic hopeful. Thanks to a careless fall off his horse, he is now on crutches - out of training and a job. Not to mention he's had to promise Brooklyn he'll back off so they could be just friends, which is the last thing he wants. The worst part is he knows she's into him too; she's as much as admitted it. And that kiss... There is no denying their chemistry after that kiss at the costume dance. But he can't date a student and he balked when she asked him if he was willing to risk it all to be with her. Now that his job and training are on hold, his outlook has changed and he's beginning to realize what really matters and what he wants from his life.

Maybe that girl who showed up on campus and turned his heart inside out is worth risking everything for after all.

Read Risking it All, a short story from Brady's perspective, in preparation for Making Ripples, The Rosewoods book 6.

A Beginners Guide to Criminality: how to be a successful villain

So you're thinking of converting to a life of crime; contemplating turning your back on society and normality for an alternative vocation; giving serious consideration to saying "t'hell with the laws of the land!" and "I'm going out to take what's not rightfully mine!"?

Who can blame you! In these times of high unemployment, low wages, austerity cuts, increased cost of living and social decay (not to mention a faltering judicial system) why wouldn't you consider a slightly unorthodox profession? After all, the latest games consoles, interactive TV's and new cars don't come cheap - not to mention booze and cigarettes!

Maybe you've tried the conventional Monday to Friday, nine to five existence and decided that lifestyle just isn't for you. Perhaps you've never worked a day in your life and criminality comes naturally to your clan and as such a life of crime is your destiny - upholding the proud family name.

Venturing down the criminal path is not a decision to be taken lightly though; there are many factors you must consider in advance if you want to make the most of your villainous plans. This short guide will provide all you need to know about crossing over to the dark side and setting off on your journey of self-discovery and debauchery as you pillage and plunder your way up the criminal ladder from petty thief, to powerful crime lord.

Here's Spelling: Doughnut (Spelling McYelling Book 0)

Spelling McYelling is a normal sort of a boy wizard and you might think that meant he got to magic up everything he could ever wish for. But you'd be wrong. It's the last day of the school holidays and Spelling has only three things on his mind. Where are his favourite Wizago trading cards? Will his parents ever stop being so boring? Will his little sister ever stop yelling?

Find out the answers and more in Here's Spelling - a hilarious story for 6 to 8 years.

The Comedy Spot Gig 5

In the early 90s there was a comedian, impressonist and all-round entertainer called The Dot. He had a weekly gig in The Daily Star, a UK tabloid newspaper. Sadly, his act was so bad he was booed to death. The Comedy Spot is The Dot's cousin. Wishing to keep the memory of his beloved cousin alive The Comedy Spot is carrying on with the same kind of act. Gig 5.

The Law of Attraction: Volume 1 (Lawyers In Love)

A funny, hot, and sexy new release from N.M. Silber Once upon a time two lawyers fell in love across a courtroom ... Gabrielle Ginsberg was a public defender with plenty of nerve and Braden Pierce was an assistant district attorney with a whole lot of swagger. Gabrielle wanted Braden and Braden wanted Gabrielle. And Cameron wanted Gabrielle. And Marla wanted Braden. And Cole wanted Gabrielle. And Mrs. Mason wanted Braden. And an anonymous letter writer wanted to keep Gabrielle and Braden apart. Together Gabrielle and Braden discovered many important things, like which doors at the courthouse actually locked, and that desks could be useful for more than writing. They also found out that the path of love was not always smooth, and it was sometimes trod upon by some really wacky people, like a confused fanny grabber, an eighty-two year old pothead and a gentleman who threw a wine and cheese party in his pants. Could true love overcome a lack of privacy, interference by jealous rivals and the insanity of the criminal court system? NOTICE: This book contains explicit descriptions of sexual situations and mature language. It is intended for readers over the age of eighteen.

Bedoggled (Country Misadventures Book 2)

"As before, the writing is colorful, evocative and humorous...." - Amazon reviewer mwalimu

*******************************************

Tracy Heath once again brings the quirky Oregon desert and its people to you with her feel-good, laugh-out-loud tales. In this second book of her Country Misadventures series, Tracy recounts numerous stories full of humor and poignancy.

Experience the face-palm moments of becoming a dog owner:

"Considering his klutzy habits and ill-mannered behavior, [Bowser's] knowledge of the indoors was limited. But his understanding of life in general was lacking, so we should have seen something coming."

Relive the days of T-ball where the hardest part of the game is keeping the helmet out of your eyes:

"We had a few players that could hit the ball off the tee onto the field and then run toward first base. Sometimes they forgot to turn left after reaching first and just kept galloping into the outfield, but it was a start."

And get ready for hard-core fishing, folks, because fishing's not for wimps:

"Dripping piteously, the fishers reached the foot of the trail and took a minute to gaze up the steep, switchbacked path, the shadows already growing long around them. Crying seemed a viable option...."

Enjoy these escapades and several other comical stories in Tracy's take on country life. Bedoggled is available solely for your entertainment!

(Formerly titled "A Proper Fish Story")

Click "Buy" to get your humor fix today!

Taking Off

A few years after graduating college, Ty was fed up with "working" and "acting responsibly like every other adult is expected to," and chose instead to quit his job and backpack across Europe and Asia. Taking Off is the mostly true memoir of his trip.

Yes, this may come as a shock, but a twenty-something wrote about his experiences travelling. Kind of like when Ashley from HR sent you the link to her vacation blog. The differences being that this book is longer, has less pictures of Ashley in a bikini, and gives you no real obligation to read it since you'll never bump into Ty in the break room where he'll ask you how you liked it. But regardless of obligation, you can still appreciate this book, as it consists of several humorous, interesting, and worthwhile anecdotes that are way more interesting than anything that self-absorbed narcissist Ashley could ever write.

This book is completely, 100% free. So if you're interested, give it a read. If you like it, tell a friend about how good it was. If you don't like it, lie to an enemy about how good it was. Either way, make sure to flaunt the book's completion to someone. You're literate for God's sake, and the contemptible people with whom you surround yourself need to be made aware of your superiority.

Mouth Open Story Fell Out: Cynical Rants Of A Singleton

Running on nothing but a busted heart, a potty mouth and the blinking cursor on a screen, Shem uses her latest breakup and a laptop as free therapy.

After unexpectedly being inducted into the hall of singledom by her closeted girlfriend (the girl she probably should never have fallen for) and urged by a friend to stop crying and start writing, Shem takes to penning the do's and don'ts of trying to move on from an ex but still failing miserably. This short non-fiction narrative presents a collection of rambling romantic faux pas backed up with zero scientific research, just outlandish statements!

"Recently I read a quote by American musician Frank Ocean, which said: 'If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Seriously, punch them in the face, and go get ice cream.' I instantly fell in love with this, as it captured exactly how I felt after the self-pity and dramatic wailing had subsided."

Packed with hilariously tragic pearls of wisdom and self-inflicted drama, this short compilation of writing is an insight into the life of a single girl and the brain burps of all things love related. Mouth Open Story Fell Out: Cynical Rants of a Singleton simply offers a little heads up when trying to navigate the minefield that is the single life.

Did You Spank Your Wife Last Night? (The Sundowner Diaries)

A humorous adult essay on the fall out from the book publishing phenomenon 50 Shades Of Grey. Plus 3 other fun articles.

[Articles - Adult Humor - 8000 words - 21 pages]

150 Knock! Knock! Jokes

150 hilarious knock knock jokes to keep the kids amused, with lots of charming illustrations.

Turkey Jokes for Kids: Animal Jokes and Riddles for Kids (with pictures)

***UPDATED: AUGUST 2017 with PICTURES***

Are you ready for the best Turkey Jokes and Riddles for Kids?

Below are sample jokes that you will find inside the book. Take a sneak peak:



Q: What key won't open any door?

A: A turkey

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?

A: It was the chicken's day off.

Q: Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

A: It was stuck on the turkey's foot.

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road twice?

A: To prove he wasn't chicken

Q: What do you call it when it rains turkeys?

A: Foul weather

You'll find more of them when you buy the book.

***Read it FREE With Kindle Unlimited or Prime Membership***

Don't have kindle? No worries! Read it on your PC, Mac, Tablet or Smartphone!

Download your copy NOW (click BUY NOW WITH 1-CLICK) or READ it FREE with Kindle Unlimited or Prime Membership.





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Halloween Pranks: Seven pranks for the week leading up to Halloween

A fully illustrated prank book for the week leading up to Halloween. Quick and easy pranks to pull on your kids, friends or lovers - if they deserve it - during the season of spook!

There is no easier way to say you love someone than to show them, right? And if showing means making them smile, even better. Try a seasonal love prank to make your kid, friends or lover laugh!

If you are running low on ideas, no worries! Haunted Holly, the top agent from the WeLovePranks Agency will show you how in the Halloween Pranks prank book!

Becoming Us: College love never hurt so good: Volume 1 (London Lovers Series)

The dreaded friend-zone... The last place I ever want to be with college basketball God, Jake LaShae. I am losing my mind trying to figure out what this gorgeous and confident man wants from me. I need to break through his walls. What is it about me that makes him not go there? What am I lacking? When a mind-blowing betrayal knocks the wind out of me, and I think I can't feel any lower...Brody stumbles into my path-barefoot no less, and sexy as hell. His direct and mouth-watering swagger is a breath of fresh air. The feelings this man gives me are like nothing I've ever experienced. But Brody has a past. A past that makes it nearly impossible for him to trust me and let us become us in whatever capacity that may be. Just when Brody and I truly connect, just when I think that finding my soul-mate in college isn't a total joke, Jake comes back into my life...and messes things up...possibly for good.

Sleeping Beauty Gets Some Booty (Erotic Parodies Book 7)

When Princess Beauty's father mysteriously dies and her evil bitch-ass fairy step-mother, Maleficent, becomes Queen of the Fairy Kingdom, Beauty fears for her life. She flees the kingdom and goes into hiding in the foreboding Dark Forest. There she becomes smitten with a prince from a rival kingdom who got lost during a hunting expedition. Beauty and the prince proceed to engage in a little hanky-panky. Maleficent manages to track Beauty down and fires a killing curse at her. The curse doesn't kill Beauty, but causes her to fall into a deep sleep. Maleficent suddenly realizes her dark magic has weakened considerably from overuse. The prince kisses Beauty, waking her sleepy ass up. Maleficent grows irate that her plot to kill Beauty failed and she transforms into a ferocious dragon. Will Beauty and her prince overcome the evil psycho bitch who has ruined their lives? More importantly, will Sleeping Beauty get some booty? You'll have to read this perverted, deranged take of a classic fairy tale to find out!

Fish Joke Book by Charlie the Cavalier: (FREE Puppet Download Included!): 100+ Hilarious Jokes (Best Clean Joke Books for Kids) (Charlie the Cavalier Joke Books 2)

Charlie the Cavalier Books Presents Best Joke Books

100+ Child Friendly Fish and Under the Sea Jokes for Kids!

Charlie the Cavalier is a family friendly dog that bring smiles to children's faces. Charlie brings to you over 100 family friendly jokes to make kids and adults smile. Enjoy this book with the children in your life.

Amazon Prime Members can borrow this book for FREE!

oGreat for Road Trips

oRead in Waiting Rooms

oRead Before nap time

oRead at bed time

oGreat for a vacation

A few Jokes From This Funny Joke Book...

Question: Why are fish so smart?

Answer: They are always in schools!

Question: What fish are at the zoo?

Answer: Lion fish!

Question: Why are fisherman so stingy?

Answer: Their jobs make them sel-fish!

Scroll up and click 'buy' to read these funny jokes!

For each Charlie the Cavalier and 50 Things to Know book that is sold (not including free days), 10 cents is given to teaching and learning. Go to 50ThingsToKnow.com/GivingBack to find out more.

Animal Mandalas Coloring Book | Children Fun Edition 1

Can a child still recognize animals even when they're made into Mandalas? This book will definitely....

Climaxes and Koans: and other original limericks

This is a collection of original limericks. Like traditional limericks they are meant to be humorous and mildly salacious.

They are intended for a mature audience over 18 and all characters in these poems are over 18.

Below are two samples

"The Wages of Sin"

There once was a fair maid from Venice

who separated many a man from his lettuce

a man told his pals

you can keep your canals

now that was a sin worth the penance

"Make Believe Monsters"

Lovecraft thought that he wrote as a game

tales of horrors without any names

and fiends without faces

in Non-Euclidean places

but his make believe monsters ate his soul just the same

Gym Etiquette: 25 Things You Shouldn’t Do In The Gym That No One Tells You About

Laugh Out Loud Fun & The Truth About the Gym... ***Get this book by personal trainer & author Dale L. Roberts*** Seriously, how many times have you entered the gym only to leave frustrated because of meatheads, stinkpots and glorified prostitutes? Gym Etiquette: 25 Things You Shouldn't Do In The Gym That No One Tells You About covers what a lot of gym patrons have been thinking, such as: Common sense issues - where is it in the gym?!Temporary paralysis & amnesia - 2 common side effects of weight lifting Body odor & ridiculous amounts of body spray Treating the locker room as a nudist resort Spitting in the water fountain & on the floor Gymtimidation - how people are trying to scare you out of "their" gym Singing Out Loud - when has a workout needed to be an American Idol audition?! Excessive screaming and recklessly dropping weightsTaking gym selfies & videos of other people And so much more high-jinx, shenanigans and other issues plaguing the common gym these days To help preserve the integrity of your workouts, safety and personal space included, the unwritten code of gym etiquette exists. This is a customary code of polite behavior, an unwritten set of rules that essentially is common sense. However, common sense isn't always common practice, so "Gym Etiquette: 25 Things You Shouldn't Do In The Gym That No One Tells You About" points out the glaring issues and states what many hardcore fitness enthusiasts and truly dedicated people say, think and feel about gym etiquette. When these rules are broken, people create small disturbances and mild annoyances. Other violations may cause serious injury to hapless, unsuspecting victims who were just looking to get in a good workout. Simple steps and easy common sense actions will make for a better gym experience for everyone. So, abide by these easy-to-follow rules in gym etiquette to make everyone's workouts safe, fun and effective. Download this book today & go into your next workout fully preparedAvailable for borrowin

Thirty Brief Tales from England and Spain

Thirty very short stories from the author of 'Barry Braithwaite's Last Life'. Humorous, touching, moral and amoral; each is a thought-provoking flash of life.

Catchee Monkey: A Rex & Eddie Mystery: Volume 1 (Rex & Eddie Mysteries)

Two Detectives. One Murder. No Clue. When Eddie is persuaded to start a detective agency with his fr....

Bearded

The Punster's Pocket-Book: Or, the Art of Punning Enlarged by Bernard Blackmantle, Illustrated with Numerous Original Designs by Robert Cruikshank

This work has been selected by scholars as being culturally important, and is part of the knowled....

The Zen of Shallowness

This is a collection of poetry celebrating the darker side of love and other topics. The poems mix humor, idealism, and cynicism and strive to make you laugh think and feel. If you enjoy these poems email [email protected] Disclaimer: These poems are intended for a mature audience over 18. Any characters mentioned in the poems are over 18. here is an excerpt In closing Every relationship shares the same epitaph someone stopped caring and another stopped trying and 2 into 1 became only one half Behind the Mask Lipstick, rouge, polish, 'scara behind her mask she no longer remembered her real face or a time when innocence was more than one more guise she donned in the service of goals she no longer remembered why she'd wanted

Frosted Sweets: Volume 1 (A Taste of Love)

A.M. Willard brings you a romantic comedy with a touch of contemporary romance and a dash of chick lit, which takes you on a journey of friendship. Frosted Sweets is the first installment of A Taste of Love Series in which we follow the lives of Morgan and Jayden, who are discovering life is anything but what it seems. Morgan Lewis, the owner of The Polka Dot Cafe & Bakery, is about to wed the man she's spent the last four years building a life with. What she doesn't know is, that's all about to change. Can her life move past a wedding disaster? Can her crazy friends help her pick up the pieces? And what's in store for this sweet baker? Along with a booming business, the Christmas holiday rush, and her friends, Morgan is really sent into a spin when Jayden Rivers moves to town. Jayden's focus is on his career in production, but what he wasn't expecting was to be knocked off his feet by a woman in the park. Sparks fly, but he's not sure if she's truly available or taken. With a severe sweet tooth and an addiction to Morgan Lewis's treats, he can't seem to stay away. Will it turn into sugar and spice? Or a friendship over some frosted treats?"

Old Friends, Epistolary Parody

This book (hardcover) is part of the TREDITION CLASSICS. It contains classical literature works from over two thousand years. Most of these titles have been out of print and off the bookstore shelves for decades. The book series is intended to preserve the cultural legacy and to promote the timeless works of classical literature. Readers of a TREDITION CLASSICS book support the mission to save many of the amazing works of world literature from oblivion. With this series, tredition intends to make thousands of international literature classics available in printed format again - worldwide.

The Very Angry Caterwauler

WARNING: Not for the thin-skinned or politically correct.



Riffing off of Eric Carle's beloved children's book classic, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, D Trumple Thinskin's latest illustrated master-pastiche, The Very Angry Caterwauler, brutally shanghais us on a forced revisitation of the helium-filled rise of the Golden Buffoon, the Cheddar-toned Baboon, the Orange Goon, from his immodest beginnings in a Queen's townhouse, through an audacious candidacy, and finally to an inexplicable election to the throne of the United States Presidency. Released on the eve of his 200th day in office, The Very Angry Caterwauler is proving to be more biographically accurate than the main stream media.

Also be sure to look for Thinskin's first title, Goodnight Moron, a bedtime nightmare - er, story - about Drumph's worst hundred daze - sorry, first hundred days - in office.

YOUR LOVE & MY STORY: A tit for tat, the other way round

Move on is the basic concept of life but care should be taken while making such transition is, distance should be covered and not created. The story justifies the same concept. If human is to err than he is also meant to correction. Yes, it takes time to realize the mistakes but once realization process gets over, be gutsy enough to accept it and correct it. At times, just a sorry is not enough in friendship and a sorry is nothing without putting efforts to mend the harm. So from strangers become best friends to best friends become strangers again, the cycle gets complete in a way. But then it's up to one's conscience that how has he considered the cycle in his mind and how much he values his relations. Kabeer, Radhika and Vishesh's friendship unfortunately ended in the same college where it took off from. Some intentional mistakes and some situational conspiracies shaped up the whole story with a question mark in the end. Someone needed to acknowledge it and gave a befitting reply to the almighty questioner TIME. They say 'actions speak louder than the words'. But 'words in the form of action speak loudest', I guess. At least Vishesh proved so. And finally in this story, friendship wins against all the odds.

A Gardeners Life In Motion: Love, Talking Dogs, Time Travel, Rock'n'Roll, and not a hint of gardening. (The Blog Series: 1 of 2)

Lifted from the non-award winning Blog of the same name.

A tale of lost love, talking dogs, time travel, rock'n'roll, and not the slightest mention of gardening.

Tall tales, poems, and a dash of humor and hope.

A beginning, middle an end...of sorts.

'Anti-everything?' The Guardian

'I didn't understand a word of it'. The New York Times

'Fake news'. CNN

'Class'. The Sun.

'The best book ever written not about gardening'. Amateur Gardening magazine