Horror Parodies & Satires Books

Necronomicon Cookbook

There is a grimoire, known by most as the Necronomicon. It is ancient and powerful. Its very name is said to be the sound of howling demons. Upon its yellowed pages are spells and rituals that give terrible knowledge and power to those mad enough to seek it. The book is bound in human skin, inked in blood, and contains the dead names of Those Who Dwell Beyond. This is not that book. What you got in your paws right now, is best described, as one part grimoire and one part cookbook. In these pages you'll read about slayers who fight the good fight to keep this here world spinning just one more day. How slayers cast spells using moonshine, and fight monsters with magic shotguns, then preserve their souls and sanity with some down home cooking. That's where I come in. My name is Clifford Bartlett. I am a bootlegger, redneck outlaw, and a slayer of nasty things. The Elder Gods are coming, that's for sure, from Cthulhu to Hastur. Their villainous allies are already here. The world is infested with cults and shoggoth demons and they will do their level best to bring about the end of everything. Sometimes, all that stands between us and them, is a pan of cornbread. Hope you brought an appetite.

Curious Goods: Pandora's Box - Book 1

When Paul has the worst news that a father can get, that his child has a terminal disease, he spirals into despair. He discovers a quaint antique shop, Curious Goods. Much to his surprise, the owner offers him a solution to all his woes. He accepts and is ecstatic when his daughter improves. All is well, until things start to spiral downwards. Things are not as they seem.

Book 1 of the Curious Goods series. Each book is a complete story written in the Curious Goods universe.

It's the Apocalypse, Dave: Try to Have Fun

Dave's a bit of a loser. Even he'd admit that was true. He's no good at relationships, he's a terrible employee, and he's got no clue what to do with his life. Quite frankly, the world doesn't seem to have a place for him. But that's okay, because the world's just about to end.

An experiment thousands of miles away is about to initiate a world-wide apocalypse that's going to change everything. The world as Dave knew it is over, and he's going to find that the apocalypse has it in for him. While people all around him become infected by nightmarish creatures, Dave discovers he's got some friends left alive who need his help. Together, they're going to have to do battle with parasitic squid creatures out for blood, and find a way to survive an apocalypse designed to eliminate all human life.

The Lark Mirror

It's no small thing to be cursed - so says David Chambers at the outset of his story and so proves to be the case in this darkly comic horror tale. It's the long hot summer of 1976. Wild fires break out over the Western Moors, the trout streams have dried to a trickle and magic and mischief are afoot. When David is cursed by Aunt Alsey, a wandering crone adept at witchcraft, his shadow morphs into a living, breathing and very much darker version of himself - an entity with a powerful thirst, an appetite for mayhem and a determination to not let David forget the more shameful episodes of his past. Follow David's adventures into the realms of the supernatural as he embarks on a quest to rid himself of the curse, all the while having to deal with the debauched and increasingly malevolent antics of his shadow (as well as the dodgy fuel system on a borrowed Reliant Robin). Propelled into the deadly orbits of fellow victims of Aunt Alsey's various and sinister curses and with monsters to fight, David has his work cut out. What a daft time to fall in love! "A thoroughly enjoyable read, this humorous tale of horror and suspense had me chuckling more than once. The Lark Mirror is a deftly-plotted, well-written story that provides a winning mix of adventure and comedy, madness and mayhem with a splash or two of sex thrown in. With good quality writing and fast-paced action aplenty, the narrative keeps the reader turning the pages with genuine interest and anticipation as it builds to a dramatic and hilarious conclusion." INDEPENPRESS

Virus 2.0

ONE FLEW OVER THE VAMPIRE'S NEST

Dr. Throodj is a practicing psychiatrist from the planet Pharlem. He escapes to earth when his planet is under siege by a hostile population of creatures who dwell deep underground, and can only surface at night. Once here, he discovers that he has changed in two disturbing ways: his eyes are terribly sensitive to light; and he cannot tolerate any food or drink ... only blood. He does not wish to kill anyone -- but runs into some difficulty controlling this compulsion. He meets a psychologist, Dr. Leah Mendelssohn, who is in urgent need of a psychiatrist to replace her colleague that left on sabbatical. She invites Throodj to sit in on one of her group sessions, expecting that "Dr. Theodore Pharlem" will be able to supply copies of his credentials in due time. "Ted" manages to control his blood-lust just enough to avoid killing two thugs who try to attack him -- but they are not the same. The doctor meets Rita, who reminds him of his wife back home in Pharlem, and falls dangerously in love with her. When the body of a missing young woman is found in a wooded graveyard, covered with a cloak of unidentifiable material, the Department of Homeland Security gets involved, thinking this is the work of a sophisticated terrorist organization. The chase is on.

The Tenement: and short stories

Heuer Lost and Found

Unrepentant cooze hound lawyer Jurgen Heuer dies suddenly and unexpectedly in his litter-strewn home. Undiscovered, he rages against God, Nazis, deep fryers, and analogous women who disappoint him. At last found, he is delivered to Weibigand Brothers Funeral Home, a ramshackle establishment peopled with above average eccentrics, including boozy Enid, a former girlfriend with serious denial issues. With her help and the help of a wise cracking spirit guide, Heuer will try to move on to the next plane. But before he can do this, he must endure an inept embalming, feral whispers, and Enid's flawed recollections of their murky past. Is it really worth it?"

12 Very Short Horror Stories

A collection of 12 horror stories. Some dark, some weird, and others filled with black comedy. Not for the politically correct or easily offended.